Mary Rose Betten is a playwright, poet, retired character actress, and three-time Clio award-winner. After her 41-year marriage to her husband, "the theologian" ended, suddenly - she has had quite a ride of unexpected events. This is her second post in her three-part series.
After my divorce and the end of my 41-year marriage friends pitched in and helped me move into a retirement home. The most wrenching task was donating my books to the local library. Books that I cherished and had collected over many years.
Over the last decade, I had become a poet and purchased every book my poet friends wrote as well as books on how to write poetry. It became an obsession more than a hobby. And when our town built a stunning new library with a separate wing of “previously loved” books for sale - too inexpensive to refuse.
Recently at the recreation center in my new "retirement village," I was introduced to a man who offered to show me about. We began to walk and he said, “Hi, I’m Rudy. I work at the local library.”
“Hello Rudy,” I put out my hand, ‘I’m Mary Rose. He looked stunned. I thought I might have offended him by offering to shake hands.
“Oh,” Rudy uttered, “A famous poetess named Mary Rose just passed away, she donated all her books to the library.”
“Rudy, I exclaimed, that was me, I’m not famous and I’m not dead.”
He couldn’t believe it and kept repeating, “I'll have to tell them at the library.”
It made me think of that Mark Twain quote: ”Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
What a relief to feel so alive and to have been able to donate my books. It’s odd how all the volunteers at Friends of The Library know of me though I’ve never been introduced.
The librarian's quote of my death opened a whole new world for me. I have since named my tiny cottage, “The Writer's Cottage,” feeling it signaled my journey on a new path, minus wall to wall books. I write essays now and I relate to books differently since I no longer have the space to buy them but spend more time on the computer to look things up.
Books were more like wall paper in the past - now I spend more time when I touch one.
People used to keep bibles with family history or hide money in their books or have secret passages covered by books. Now we have blogs, memorial guest sites to sign in when someone passes away and emails to spread the news.
I consider the precious books that I have left and I - their very much alive spirited aunt - have put together a list for my family as to who gets what. My nieces and nephews think it is fun and tease me but it is a new way to relate without being officially dead.
To read Mary Rose's first guest post, click here.
Mary Rose Betten
Click here to read more of Mary Rose's posts.
Mary Rose Betten is a playwright, poet, retired character actress, three time Clio award-winner for her comedic work in TV commercials, author of the one of a kind book of poems on acting: “Finding Your Best Angle,” (Give This To An Actor.) nominated for a Pushcart prize. Her book “The Prodigal Son’s Mother,” was voted book of the month by Finishing LIne Press. She is the recipient of the Carol Doering 2011 award from Women's Artistic Network and is the reading coach for A Room Of Her Own, Ghost Ranch and frequently speaks on “Reading Your Own Work Aloud.”
It never fails to amaze me how Ms. Rose is able to write about her personal dwellings and still be humorous about it.
Posted by: retirement communities Long Island | February 12, 2012 at 06:06 PM
The humorous style in which you have conveyed your recent transitions, many of which are so painful, makes your readers cheer for you. Please keep writing. A voice with your wit and wisdom needs to continue to be heard! You remind us that humor is healing and that change need not be feared. It can open us up to wonderful new possiblilties. Thank you!!
Posted by: Mindee Gonzalez | January 11, 2012 at 07:05 PM
Hi Mary Rose,
I am a librarian at your local library. Please email me when you get a chance. We would love for you to participate in the library's author series.
Thank you,
Gladstone
askus@camarillolibrary.org
Posted by: Gladstone B | January 04, 2012 at 07:03 PM
Actually, to be "not dead" and "not famous" is a situation devoutly to be wished for! The first offers hope; the second comforts us that not too many are observing as we continue to fall on our face.
Posted by: Pat Lyons | January 04, 2012 at 03:46 PM
Now I place your name, Mary Rose. What a fabulous writer you are. You must have someone good managing your blog & other internet functions if you don't do them yourself. I'm struggling with it now myself.
I am a Religious Science Minister and am on the staff of the Ojai church. I used to live in Somis.
Happy New Year.
Posted by: Marilyn Miller | January 03, 2012 at 05:40 PM
Mary Rose, you have written about a most discouraging time in your life with veracity and good humor. What an inspiration that the many patrons of your local library have greatly benefitted from your generosity! Keep writing!
Posted by: Linda B. | January 03, 2012 at 01:35 PM
Ha! That is a great story. I love your capacity to adapt and enter into this new world of another way to use words to communicate without the wallpaper background. Next time I pick up a book, I'll think of you in your writer's cottage and savory it with a bit more respect!
Posted by: Cissy | January 03, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Mary Rose, you inspire me with your heartfelt words and your perseverance...the irony is spectacular! And, thank you for sharing your books with your local library. I am a grateful user of the library system in my hometown and it's opened me up to so many new authors.
Posted by: Liz | January 03, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I love that Mary Rose writes from her heart. She speaks both humorously and painfully of her "Aha" moments. I appreciate that through her writing she is open to sharing her life's journey. Her blog reminds me that its not about reaching the destination but the journey. Bravo Mary Rose!
Posted by: Sonia Sharp | January 02, 2012 at 10:17 PM
This article, so brilliantly and wittily written, made me stop and think and look at all of my books. Why not share them? What a freeing way to start this new
year and the new branch of your life-path journey. Please keep writing and encouraging all of us with your
thoughts.
Posted by: Barbara Force | January 02, 2012 at 11:20 AM
Your chance encounter with the librarian reminds me of a C.S.Lewis quote (from Letters to Malcolm)--"The objects around me, and my idea of me, will deceive if taken at face value. But they are momentous if taken as the end products of divine action . . .They are not ultimate realities but conductors . . .the bush is burning now."
Mary, your vivid writing puts me right in the scene with you. Thank you!
Posted by: Marion Schillo | January 01, 2012 at 09:21 PM
Mary Rose has the talent and courage to transfer hurt into humor, and hopefully show us the way to reframe and redefine the events of our life. Thanks, Mary Rose.
Posted by: Sally Evans | January 01, 2012 at 01:56 PM
I read this on New Year's Day and it made me stop and think Where am I going in this New Year of Life. We really are ageless if we keep living and have our health. Wonderful story and time that I started getting rid of things!
Posted by: Nancy Moody | January 01, 2012 at 12:20 PM
You and Mark Twain! What a pair! Both witty, both writers, and both prematurely thought gone before your time. Wonder who was more shocked--you or the librarian. Were you surprised to hear you were a famous poetess? I love that you used this incident to trigger further movement on your latest path. Remember wei ji, Chinese term for crisis...made up of two symbols, those for danger and opportunity. You've used your crisis to find new opportunity in your life, and to share it with others.
Posted by: Marilyn Stacy | December 30, 2011 at 02:23 PM
Beautifully said. The agony and the ultimate joy of your difficult journey touch my soul deeply. Persevere and DON'T STOP your writing.
Posted by: Hildy B | December 29, 2011 at 07:53 PM
It has been said, often, that it is a good exercise in living well to take a moment and write one's own obituary, that notion of taking stock. I think the books we chose to put on our shelves tells our life story in so many ways - to have to whittle down a life's collection of books to those that we simply could not face the day without, the title on the spine facing us as we sip morning coffee, is a way to consider the journey we've taken, and to share that journey through the donation. And yet, visiting rights on the computer! Looking things up without the attachment of a monetary commitment - a whole new phase in Mary Rose's life, and isn't that what keeps us young, changing and challenging and accepting! Bravo!!!
Posted by: EWJamieson | December 29, 2011 at 07:36 PM
How very poignant.
She mourns the relinquishment of her treasured books, only to learn that "letting go" opened both her books and herself to so many. Mary Rose's writings speak from the heart. What a Gift!
Posted by: Laura Pitten | December 29, 2011 at 07:00 PM
a poignant, thought-provoking tale presented with a delightful sprinkling of humor and good spirit....thank you, Mary Rose!
Posted by: Lynne Lemon | December 29, 2011 at 04:13 PM
Savor this read.. it is a candid account of an epiphany.
Beautifully and powerfully told!
I left feeling truimphant for Mary Rose.
Posted by: allyson aabram | December 29, 2011 at 02:30 PM
What a thought-provoking tale....Kept thinking how she lives on (even if she's not really dead) as all those books went back out into the world to enrich many lives, other seekers for kindred souls. Also the thought kept wafting through that meeting the Librarian fellow was a reminder of the value of human interaction.... not only with him, but through the serendipitous happenings if she leaves her computer and other techy stuff, and partakes of human exchange. We've become so isolated through our machines, we've lost the richness of human sharing. Good, challenging piece.....Thank you for your visiting blogger.
Posted by: The Bird | December 29, 2011 at 02:23 PM