My daughter Claire was delivered not from my birth canal, but via United Airlines on June 19, 1998 by an escort. She was four-and-a-half-months-old. After traveling twenty-three hours from Seoul, South Korea to the Des Moines, Iowa airport, she greeted her new parents and big brother with a little suitcase and a big smile and changed our lives forever.
As soon as Claire could talk, I taught her to raise her little arms up in the air and shout, "I am from Korea and proud of it!" We read stories about her native country and tried Korean food, attempting to embrace her given culture in every way possible. Her independent spirit shined through in everything she accomplished and as I sent her off to school on her first day, I just knew she would thrive.
One day during the middle of second grade, Claire came home upset. "Some other kids made fun of my eyes today in the lunch line," she cried, "I look different!" My heart sank. I tried to counsel and encourage her in every way possible, but nothing seemed to make her feel better. She was no longer proud to be Korean. A few weeks later, while reading an email from another adoptive mother, I realized my answer. I counted how many babies had come home to America as a result of Claire's experience. Eleven beautiful children from faraway countries such as China, Russia, and South Korea now had homes after witnessing our adoption.
I asked a friend to make Claire a unique bracelet. One afternoon, I sat Claire down on her bed and handed her bracelet that displayed the words "Be strong," surrounded by eleven beautiful beads. I started counting the beads, naming each bead after each child. "They all have families now because of you!" I said as I hugged her, "You have a special purpose!" She smiled as big as she did the first time I held her.
Claire faces the same challenges as many other children as well as adults who just want to feel accepted. Each of us has a special purpose in life and Claire gained the gift of self-acceptance once she recognized that there was a very extraordinary and inspiring reason for her existence.
What is your special purpose? I'd love to hear about it.
- Vicky De Coster - www.wackywomanhood
Click here for more of Vicky's posts.
She is truly your little Valentine. Beautiful story. I do have a special purpose, and it is my passion - encouraging, inspiring, and teaching women to write a short story (a bio-vignette) capturing their mother's character and keeping her spirit alive. Have your daughter write one about you and (I have stories from 8 year olds)submit it online to me! I'd love it.
Posted by: Lynn Henriksen | February 14, 2009 at 08:27 PM
My ex-husband and I adopted a son while he was stationed in S. Korea. John (Park Tek Sue) was 5 when we adopted him ... he's 33 now. He was in a Korean orphanage the first 5 years of his life, so bonding with others is not something that has come easily to him ... if at all. It took him until he was 17 years old to finally get it that he was here to stay and we would love him no matter what.
Posted by: Terry Green | February 13, 2009 at 10:51 AM