Tell Us Your Stories is a new weekly blog feature, written by the women in the Spirited Woman community. This blog post is writte by Andrea Lewis, an aspiring author writing her memoir. To submit an original story (about 500 words) specifically for Spirited Woman, send submission via e-mail to Nancy Mills.
I was swept off my feet by this tall, dark and handsome guy I was acquainted with since childhood. Life happened and we had lost touch for many years until we reconnected on the infamous Facebook.
I was divorced for five years, lonely and had just emerged from a depression. He resuscitated new life into me and I felt he was my soul mate. I was in love with him and for two and half years of my life he tempted me with empty promises and false hope.
Although I had been attending therapy since I was twenty years old, the relationship regurgitated the past. From my childhood trauma of sexual and physical abuse I endured at the hands of my half-brother. While exhuming my brother’s suicide and revisiting unresolved issues from my divorce.
I rode a roller-coaster from being passive to becoming aggressive. I was unable to demount the ride of my life as it spiralled downward and never upward. All the while I suffered from feelings of low self-esteem, shame, guilt, fear and depression. I was not travelling anywhere except the self-destructive path I paved along my journey. Because I continued to repeat the cycle with broken relationships, partying, drinking excessively and binge eating, all in the name of escaping what was staring at me in the mirror.