Spirited Woman Blogger Team

Guest Blogger - Sadia Qazi - I am Precious and I Can Make a Difference

Sadia Qazi, a young woman in Pakistan, came to my attention because she left a comment on our Spirited Woman Blog that literally made me weep, the writing was that beautiful and heartfelt. So I reached out to her and asked if she would write a series of guest blogs for us having no idea of her enornous struggles. In her first post Wings of a Butterfly, she wrote about losing everything, but also realizing that she had everything. In this her second blog, I am featuring her original comment, including her poem, the one that brought tears to my eyes and my soul. Nancy

I am a spirited woman because I believe in me... I believe I am precious and I can make a difference.. I have stood firm in harsh winds and I have raised my flags when all hopes were down... I am a fighter and I battle in my life with hope in my faith, love in my heart and contentment and positiveness in my soul... I believe I am a spirited woman because I have also inspired women around me to raise their spirits high in the trying times.

I wrote a poem for International Women's Day this year and presented it in a seminar..

Spirited Woman
I was broken and beaten,
Engulfed in bondage and pain.
Wrecked in shackles of flames
Mere symbol of beauty and vain
I was a phantom no one could fathom,
I was a book, no one read.
Putative as what, I was meant to be
Living a life,
And my soul was dead.
Courage to be myself,
Was not easy.
Standing upfront,
With my heart so creasy.
Despite the atrocious wicked crowd,
I raised my voice,
High and loud.
I dared to dream and took a stand.
With a leap of faith and grip of hand.
Dreamt of dancing with the cool breeze
Absorbing hues from the rainbow stream
Singing a song with my heartbeat
Envisaging a trumpet of my feat
And Finally,
I broke the chains that held me tight,

Guest Blogger - Sadia Qazi - The Wings of the Butterfly

Sadia Qazi, a young woman in Pakistan, came to my attention because she left a comment on our Spirited Woman Blog that literally made me weep, the writing was that beautiful and heartfelt. I asked her if she would write a series of guest blogs for us having no idea of her enormous struggles - even though I recognized her unstoppable spirit. This is the first in her series of three. After losing everything, she came to realize she had everything. Nancy Mills

In life, the best of our hope is our inner-strength. When all the odds are against us, it is vital to keep our spirits agile and vivacious. And we are in the midst of a constant battle in our lives whether that is financial security or relationship knots.

Two years back, it was the first year of my marriage and I went on living with my husband in the small city of Nowshehra, Pakistan. It was the monsoon and the day of my birthday when the water barricades fell down and the city was engulfed by the fifteen feet high water flood.

The horrors of the drowning houses and being rescued were enough to give nightmares. The verve of water left us with nothing. The house with all our belongings was dust and mud. I had collected pretty dresses and decorating items and households for the start of a new home, my new life. But nothing was left and that was a time to start the life from scratch again.

My husband was distraught at the grave reality but no one understood the very concept of starting from  scratch literally. I knew I had to step up. I didn’t shed a tear because I knew I have to be strong. My husband, who was never willing to let me be a working woman, helped me set up my little fashion designing venture. I initiated with customized orders and designing for various freelance graphic projects.

The strength in me was my faith. I had believed that there is no problem greater than we can bear and I can make it.

My inspiration and source of vigor was a small incident. Earlier, the day of the flood it all occurred. I saw a butterfly in my garden fluttering its wings trying to move forward despite the harsh winds. It moved forward and was shoved back many paces by the wind. It mustered its resolve and moved forward again. I watched it until the butterfly flew off the backyard.

A Porch Light Guides a Weary Traveler

It wasn’t really what I had in mind when I planned our vacation months ago —stuck in a hotel lobby with one stale, half-melted granola bar to split among four people and a broken down rental car in the parking lot. But there we were, with a car that wouldn’t start and still 500 miles from our destination—a 2,800-acre cattle ranch outside Lander, Wyoming.

I picked up the phone to call Beverly, the ranch owner, to let her know we would be late. “I just put a pie in the oven for the ranch hands,” she told me, “But don’t worry about being late. I’ll wait up and I’ll leave the porch light on.” I wanted to cry. It sounded so relaxing and fabulous there. And I wanted a piece of that pie. Beverly and I had only exchanged emails up to that point, but her voice immediately comforted me during a time when I had already seriously considered pulling every hair out of my head.

Eight hours later, we were finally on our way again. As we carefully navigated winding mountain roads in pitch black darkness, I quietly wondered what we had gotten ourselves into (mostly to distract myself from the fact that my fingernails were now stuck in the dashboard). But then a few minutes later, I saw it. The porch light gleamed in the distance. Beverly had stayed true to her word and I felt like I had just come home. 

And so began a fabulous week with one of the most spirited women I’ve ever met. A few years ago, Beverly and her husband decided to build two cabins on their ranch, to house people from all over the world who wanted to experience what it was like to live at the base of the Wind River Mountains. To date, people have visited from England, Holland, Switzerland, Scotland, and all over the United States.

As the week progressed, Beverly would often stop at our cabin as we sat on the porch and enjoyed the fabulous view. Our conversations were lively as we all were curious about life on the ranch. Beverly entertained us with stories about the rattlesnakes that hide in the irrigation ditches, the cougar and her four babies that live on the ridge just above her ranch, the legend that four outlaws are buried on her ranch (one was thought to be Butch Cassidy, but he was later found alive and well), and what it is like to herd angus cattle up the side of a mountain to graze.

Guest Blogger - Julia Ibbotson - It May Be Mid-Life But It's a New Beginning!

An English grandmother with a long academic career behind her, Dr Julia Ibbotson decided to return to her creative roots, both mentally and physically. When her husband retired they bought a Victorian rectory in the middle of the moors in central England, and without any previous experience set about renovating it. To be truthful they did not undertake the physical work themselves but closely project-managed it. As a result, Julia created two new careers for herself: as a writer when she determined to write about this period of her life, and as a “home cooking with love” advocate.

This is the first post in Julia's delightful three-part weekly series exclusively for Spirited Woman.

Hot flushes came and disappeared. Retirement beckoned. I was a grandmother, for goodness sake (although I still felt 30!). My long academic career was losing its excitement as the new young blood was no longer mine, but that of others needing to be mentored. Could I find a fresh impetus in my life before I took to my stair-lift and zimmer frame?

To me one of the essences of a Spirited Woman, of whatever age, is to be creative, to be proactive, and to be persistent against all odds. I needed to find a focus for my own creativity: to ground myself in place, history, the cycle of nature and human lives.

And so it was that in the cold English winter of 2008, my husband and I found a rather dilapidated Victorian rectory, dating from 1860, in the middle of the moors, with a couple of acres of land. We bought it! This stark statement perhaps reveals the amazement I felt at possibly the first ever spontaneous decision, entirely emotional, that my husband had made. He is normally a cautious man, so it was a surprise to me that he was as swept away as I was by this very unpromising building. Maybe later he came to regret his quick decision when he discovered how much renovation would be entailed, but I was delighted. To me, this would be not only a project to get my teeth into, but also a new style of life. 

We moved to the rectory and thus began three long years of renovation work. I became immersed in the history of the house and of the village a mile away. I imagined the previous occupants over the years since it was first built. I researched into the lives of those who inhabited these rooms during times of despair, danger, war, industrial change, exciting inventions and “progress." I made notes on my discoveries.

A Mother's Day Trio of Spirited Women

I recently had the uplifting pleasure of interviewing a businesswoman - Jan McCarthy (who lives in LA and Boulder) - and her two dynamo daughters Keeley, 24 and Caitlin, 21. Talk about Spirited Women! These three ladies follow their inner wisdom, don't take no for a final answer and believe that they can accomplish anything they set their hearts and minds to. Far from being what can negatively be referred to as "overachievers," Jan, Keeley and Caitlin remain true to themselves.

When they are being given an urge to do something, they know there is a usually a good reason for it and they follow that inner voice and live out their dreams! In honor of Mother's Day, I would like to introduce you to this inspiring trio and to share their message(s) with you. 

Mom, Jan McCarthy has launched several businesses, including Ladies Who Launch (in Los Angeles and Orange County), a company committed to helping women launch their dreams or grow their businesses and Back 2 Our Roots with her sister Lisa Hart to help small businesses along the path to success.

Keeley McCarthy, Jan's 24-year-old daughter, armed with an accounting degree from the University of Colorado, made the decision to take over as CEO of Travel En Vogue, one of the family businesses, right after graduating. Following in her mom's footsteps, she has also launched her own side endeavor, Keeley Kraft, a company that repurposes furniture in stunning makeovers.

Caitlin McCarthy, Jan's 21-year-old daughter, launched Part of the Art Productions in response to her acting career and creative endeavors when she was just 17 and has been self-supporting ever since. She stays actively involved in the commercial and theatrical industry, but has also added interior designer and furniture designer to her resume (she graduated from FIDM - a top LA fashion design school - in March, 2011).

Dawn:  What is your proudest achievement so far?
Jan: Well, aside from raising my two fabulous daughters who have beauty, spirit and compassion, I think that my biggest achievement is that I don't let setbacks stop me from going forward. I have defined myself and have not let anything in life or circumstances define me.
Keeley: So far I think it is taking control of the company and helping it grow. It has shown me what I am capable of.
Caitlin:  When I was 17 I moved to San Diego to film a television show called Watch Over Me. I was so young but I took my work really seriously and learned to be on my own before a lot of my peers were. It felt like a big independent step for me and it defined me and helped me become who I am now.

Dawn:  Caitlin and Keeley, do you feel that having such a wonderful role model in your mother was a great motivator for achieving so much so young?
Caitlin:  Growing up, I never really imagined that I couldn't achieve something that I wanted and I think that is because my mom never accepted no as an answer. When it came to her goals and her dreams, it was never really a question of whether she was going to do it but how she was going to do it. She has always encouraged Keeley and I. Also, seeing the work she does with Ladies who launch is a great inspiration and I really look to her to see what she is achieving and then believe it for myself.
Keeley:  I agree with Caitlin, I think 100% that my mom has been a huge motivation for everything I achieve. Her support is always unwavering and so strong, it has given me the confidence to take risks and not be so afraid of failure. Her success makes me believe it is possible.

Mingmei Yip Interviews Elizabeth Kerri Mahon - Author of "Scandalous Women"

Last year I met Elizabeth Kerri Mahon at the Romance Writers of America's New York Chapter. A professional actress, Mahon has recently published Scandalous Women: The Lives and Loves of History's Most Notorious Women, a non-fiction book which was the extended work from her popular blog with the same title. 

Q: In terms of "spirited women" how do the women in your book relate?
A: Well, considering the book is called Scandalous Women, there are many 'spirited women' in the book. Over the course of history, a 'spirited woman' or a ‘scandalous woman’ was often one regarded as troublesome or unfashionable. All the women in my book buck the status quo of their particular era. Many  women of the time, such as Camille Claudel, paid a high price for being at odds with what was acceptable for women at the time. Some were able to constantly reinvent themselves over the course of their lives. Josephine Baker, for example, went from just being a novelty act to one of the most accomplished performers in Paris, to a spy during World War II, and then a civil rights activist after the war among other roles.

Q. When did you know you wanted to be an author?
A: I’ve always known deep down that I was meant to be a writer, as a child when we had to write 500-word compositions for English, I always ended up writing first chapters. I submitted my first manuscript to Grosset & Dunlap when I was ten, thinking that I was going to be the next Carolyn Keene but I got sidetracked along the way with my other passion which was acting. It wasn’t until I realized that as much as I love acting, I wasn’t making a living at it, that I moved on to my other passion which was writing. Still, it took ten years of struggle and many manuscripts before I finally stumbled on the idea of Scandalous Women. At first, I was just blogging about all these fascinating women that I was reading about and developing a readership, but it wasn’t until I was laid off from my job two years ago, that I actually sat down and wrote a book proposal. Nine months later, my agent sold Scandalous Women to Perigee.

Q. What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
A: I’m not a historian but more of a history geek. I hope that readers find these women just as fascinating as I do, and that it encourages them to not only read more but also to think about the role of women in history. I hope that when a reader picks up one of the book, she’ll think 'I never thought of say Cleopatra that way' while she’s reading. I hope she’ll revel in the stories of these amazing women, and think about just how far we’ve come over the centuries. If she has a daughter or a niece, I hope that she shares the book with them. I’ve said from the beginning that I think Scandalous Women is a wonderful introduction to women’s history for teenage girls.

Q. What’s next for you?
A. I have several projects that I'm working on at the moment. I have a few non-fiction ideas that are floating around in my head that I hope to see to fruition. I also have a contemporary romantic comedy that is set in England that I want to revisit as some point, as well as a historical young adult novel set during the late 19th century that I’ve been working on for the past few years.

Q. Where can readers find out more about you?
A. I’m on Twitter and Facebook, of course, and there is my blog Scandalous Women. Also, if you’re in a book club, Scandalous Women would be a great book for discussion. The profiles in the book are just long enough to whet the reader’s appetite for more.

- Mingmei Yip, http://www.mingmeiyip.com
Click here to read more of Mingmei's posts.

Using Art as a Helping Hand

One of the most wonderful parts of being an ex-pat in Paris is that I meet fellow ex-pats from the world over. Other cultures fascinate me and I feel it is such a gift to have the opportunity to meet people who come from all corners of the world and to learn their stories.

When I came to Paris over 13 years ago, it was to learn photography. In my classes, there were students from around the globe studying alongside me. I made a number of lifelong friends during that program - many of them extremely talented artists. One of the students that truly stood out for me, was a young woman named Miki Nitadori. Her art, even then was exceptional and it has bloomed even more since. I have stayed in touch with Miki over the years and one of the many things that is so beautiful about her is that she shares her talents for the good of others. 

Miki's work has been featured in galleries around the world which seems to be only natural for someone raised in multiple cultures and countries: Japan, USA (Hawaii), and France. She has an affinity for cultural understanding and perhaps thanks to this quality she is a very open and giving person. Through her art, Miki has worked on various charitable projects and one that she has been deeply touched by is the one she is currently undertaking: Combat for Tohoku people.

Deeply disturbed by the tragedies in Japan, Miki decided to do something to help. She therefore launched a mission to assist through her photography series entitled: Combat.  She chose to put her sought after artwork online and allow people to offer a donation in exchange for the print itself or for the print to go to the people in the affected areas. She began this effort five days after the natural disasters in Japan and it has been a great success both in support for the people of Japan and also on a personal level for Miki.

She wrote on her blog on April 3rd, "This experience of donating my works and people buying pieces from this series, I am experiencing something that is important. If I resume this experience in one word, it is "Trust". Trust in my action, my feeling, my thoughts, my instinct and who I am. In other times, when people bought my work, they trusted my work but reasons and goals varied. As this moment, I have never felt this strong sense of collaboration with people who bought my work. We are taking a common action together through this series. We know that this action is important as we are deeply touched by what is going on in Tohoku."

Guest Blogger - Liz Seccuro - The Gift of the Fight - Part One

At the age of 17, Liz Seccuro was drugged and gang raped at a fraternity party just five weeks after arriving at the University of Virginia. Over 20 years later, one of the perpetrators wrote a letter to her, apologizing for his crime. It led to his arrest, subsequent plea deal and brief prison term. The other rapists remain at large and the case remains open. Liz's case captured international media attention. She went on to write her recently released memoir, Crash Into Me: A Survivor's Search for Justice.

In her exclusive three-part series, "The Gift of the Fight," for Spirited Woman, Liz writes about her experience. In part one she reflects upon her childhood.

Was I born into a life of less promise? I think the opposite. My biological mother, a freshman at NYU in the freewheeling 1960s, was too young to care for me and wanted to continue her education. It didn’t help that my biological father was a married musician she had met in one of the West Villages famed nightclubs. So, after four days in the hospital with me, she made the decision to give me up for adoption. I lived my first year at The Foundling Hospital of the now –shuttered St. Vincent’s, where the nuns cared for me until my parents adopted me four days short of my first birthday. I wonder what living there was like, sometimes. Did they hold me, hug me, play with me? Or was it the archetypical “orphanage” implied by the harsh, almost Dickensian use of the word? All of that said, I was the luckiest baby in the world to end up with my parents just before Christmas of 1967. They were, and are, the most terrific parents in the world.

I grew up in Westchester County, New York, in a town called Mount Vernon, a heavily Italian-American, middle-class, Catholic suburb of New York City. We were by no means wealthy, living in a spacious apartment, but not a house with a yard like most of my friends. We were, however, rich in life experience and happiness. Life revolved around playgrounds, friends, summers at the Jersey Shore and, for me, a very rigid schedule of academics and dance, both of which I excelled at from a very young age. It’s worth noting that my parents, both working blue collar jobs, did not push me to excel to such extremes, although they were immensely proud of my drive, ambition and results. I wanted it for myself and I displayed natural aptitudes in both my schoolwork and in the rigors of ballet. As an only child, I would spend hours poring over my extensive book collection, preferring them to dolls or television. I think that my love of reading, instilled by my mother, made me the student that I was. Self-control and obsessive perfectionism, I think, took some of the joy out of my studies. But that was all me. Perhaps that desire to be perfect came from being abandoned as a baby. Perhaps I thought I had something to prove; that I could be “good enough." I only question this now, as an adult, because, looking back, I remember nothing but happiness as I pursued my dreams of excellence. To be honest, it was to be a veritable anvil over the head of foreshadowing.

Honoring Exceptional Local Women

How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! -- Poet Maya Angelou

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a reception sponsored by the Marin Women's Hall of Fame, to introduce their annual Honoree Portrait Exhibit. The well-attended event was held at a local bank, with a harpist playing heavenly musical selections, and molto delizioso food catered by a local Italian restaurant. This event, and the dinner where the Honorees are introduced, are always held in March, to coincide with Women's History Month.

The centerpiece of the exhibit was a tableau of brief biographies and pictures of all the women who had been chosen as Marin Women's Hall of Fame honorees from 1988 - 2011. And what a range of occupations are represented! Just a brief sampling: an ABC-TV news anchor, a jeweler, a California supreme court justice, a specialty baker, a banker, an educator called "The Running Nun," a community activist, a gardener, a physician, an oceanographer, a psychologist, an anthropologist.

One of the goals of the Marin Women's Hall of Fame, founded in 1987 by five women who did not know whether their idea would be accepted or rejected, was "to identify and honor Marin women and girls whose extraordinary achievements exceed expectations, creating breakthroughs for society." Another goal was to "empower women and girls to reach their full potential as resilient visionaries focused on education, innovation, the environment, and positive results." And a third goal was "to document and preserve the achievements of outstanding Marin women to provide a record and legacy for future generations.

Goals met -- without doubt!

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. -- Poet Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Mary Ross, First Native American Engineer

I was still taking classes when I retired. There is always something new to learn. -- Mary G. Ross, first Native American woman aerospace engineer (1908-2008)

This is International Women's History Month, so I thought I would share with you part of a profile I wrote of a most Spirited Woman. My article Mary Ross: A Pioneer appeared in the New York-based Woman Engineer magazine in Winter 1984. This remarkable woman's achievements are as fresh today as when she began her career in the 1940s.

Background: I lived in Silicon Valley during the 1970s and 1980s. My late husband Dick Brandt and I moved there from the East Coast because of his career with Hewlett-Packard. I wrote for various magazines such as BusinessWoman, discovered SWE (Society of Women Engineers), and through that organization, learned of Mary Ross.

From the article: The first woman engineer employed by Lockheed and the great-great-granddaughter of John Ross, a Chief of the Cherokee Nation for 40 years during the 1800s, are one and the same person: Mary Ross. An engineer who formulated a concept for a manned orbital space system, a manned lunar landing, and a member of a group that worked on interplanetary projects such as Pioneer and Voyager, Ross began her career at Lockheed in 1942 and retired in 1973. Her last staff position was as a senior systems staff engineer, working on fly-by missions to Mars and Venus.

Mary Ross was brought up in the Cherokee tradition of equal education for girls and boys. "I didn't mind being the only girl in my math class in Oklahoma. Math, chemistry, and physics were more fun to study than any other subjects," recalls Ross. The Cherokees were considered the most advanced Native Americans east of the Mississippi, developed their own written language and published the first Indian-language newspaper.