Spirited Woman Blogger Team

Keep Fishing

I had a wonderful time attending the 2011 Romance Writers of America Conference in New York, including the keynote speech by the paranormal romance writer Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Kenyon’s tale was bittersweet, her brother died and a sister was sick. School was a struggle. Sherrilyn had severe dyslexia and her fourth grade teacher once told her that she’d never be able to speak properly or hold jobs in which she’d have to interact with people. The teacher also implied that the best job she could aspire to was being a janitor.

In addition, even after she’d become a bestselling author, many of her ideas were rejected by publishers who were not convinced that vampires and zombies would sell. Now Kenyon is respected as the founder of these two extremely popular romance genres.

Now wildly successful, she not only has fervent fans, but also bitter enemies. How did she cope with the latter? She quoted a Japanese proverb: “If you sit fishing by the river long enough, you’ll see bodies of your enemies floating by.”

I almost blurted out laughing after I’d heard this. Not only that success is the best revenge, but also endurance! Woody Allen said that ninety percent of success is just showing up. And he has been true to his words, now in his seventies, he is still directing a movie every year.

I always feel sad when I see writers fail to get published not because their writing is bad, but because they give up too soon, unable to tolerate the humiliation of being rejected. But not Robert M Pirsig, who had received one hundred rejections before his best-selling and now classic Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was accepted for publication.

So, let’s all keep fishing by the river!

- Mingmei Yip, http://www.mingmeiyip.com
Click here to read more of Mingmei's posts.

Anyone Can Be A Spirited Woman

I’ve really enjoyed being the humor blogger for TheSpiritedWoman.com. I’ve written about everything from my broken toe to Caramel Apple Pops. And this is my last post as a member of this fantastic blogger team.

When I first began, I was a bit intimidated by the “Spirited Woman” concept. Quite frankly, I never really considered myself to be all that spirited. My writing, as well as my sense of humor, often veers toward the darker, edgier end of the spectrum. But Nancy encouraged me to give it a go, and here I am, six months later… and spirited as all get out!

Instead of writing about my growing frustration with the seemingly endless drivers who don’t pull up into the intersection before making a left turn, I wrote about I Love Lucy, a television series that’s brought me joy throughout my entire life.

When I felt like writing about wanting to crawl under my blanket and sleep away the weekend, I wrote about how visiting my hometown of Huntington Beach always renews my spirit.

I fought my impulse to rant about my dismay concerning the vast overuse of the apostrophe and other signs of the devolution of punctuation and grammar in general, and instead wrote about the delights of a date night with a good girlfriend every now and then.

And guess what? I discovered that writing about things that are good for your soul… is good for your soul!

Believe me, no one was more surprised than I to learn that I was, indeed, a Spirited Woman.

I thank Nancy for the opportunity to share my stories and I thank you for reading them and sometimes even responding to them. Your insightful comments were much appreciated.

It’s been a ball. Wow, that gives me a great idea for a new post. Hmmmm… maybe this won’t be the last you hear from me!

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

Winning Combos

I am a sucker for suckers. Actually, I’m not. I just thought that was a really good opening. Although I do enjoy a Tootsie Pop every now and again, I’m not what you’d call a big sucker fan. But that all changed today. For that is when I had my first Caramel Apple Pop. It’s a green apple candy covered with chewy caramel.  I love the sharp tartness of the hard candy combined with the sugary sweetness of the caramel.  And I can sum it up in two words: Mmmmmmmmm.  Mmmmmmmmm!!

There are so many winning food combinations out there. While some are new and exciting, others bring back fond childhood memories.

When I was little we had “popcorn parties” at my house - which meant nothing more than my mom fixed popcorn for the family. But calling it a popcorn party transformed it into an event. (And before microwave ovens, popcorn actually was more of an event!) My mom even had a special little pot in which to melt the butter. And here comes the combo part – my dad always ate his popcorn with a Hershey Milk Chocolate with Almonds bar. If you’ve never tried hot buttered popcorn paired with any type of milk chocolate, I suggest you try it pronto. You’ll be glad you did. And you can find a similar tasty decadence by dipping hot french fries into your chocolate shake.

I learned a much healthier combo from a good friend recently – a pear with dark chocolate. And now I hear people are putting chocolate into their chili! When it comes to food, I’m a girl who doesn’t knock it until I’ve tried it. So I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

My dad also puts salt on his watermelon which I know many people do. But I believe he’s alone when i t comes to peanut butter with Chinese food. Yep, my dad always pairs peanut butter on toast with his Chicken Chow Mein. While I like my apple pie a la mode, my sister likes to melt a piece of sharp cheddar cheese on top. And my mom (WARNING: the following food combo may not be appropriate for readers with delicate sensibilities) dips her Fritos into Miracle Whip. Blech! (Says the girl who dips her french fries into ranch dressing.)

A friend of mine swears by always pairing sweet fruit (dried cherries, dried cranberries, etc.) and a crunchy nut in her salads. And they’re always delicious.

I'm An Old Timer Rhymer

I’ve been writing rhymes since I was a little kid. These days, I pretty much limit them to greeting cards for my family and friends, but I still love the art. And I am quite particular about what rhymes…

For instance, I have a dear friend named Juliet. Some people might consider rhyming her name with words like "let" or "fret". I do not. I must rhyme each syllable of a word. And I’m proud to say, on one of Juliet's birthday cards, I made no less than 8 rhymes with her name. (ie. A sheep is a wooley pet.  Dew-strewn grass is newly wet. Yesterday, the nerd and bully met. With such good friends - I'm truly set…) You get the idea.

All my friends knew which card was from me at a recent baby shower because I invited the fetus to come out and meet us.

With a little bit of effort, all spirited women can put a little pizzazz into their thank you notes, birth announcements, or dinner invitations.

I invite all of you to spend a little time

to come up with some sort of rhyme

for the next card you send

to a relative or a friend

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

Work Friends

I usually work a 50-hour week. Sometimes it’s more. And I’m usually within mere feet of several coworkers. It’s a good thing I like them.

I am a freelancer. My jobs typically last from three to seven months. Some shows employ many of the same people season after season, but there are also new projects that throw me into the trenches with strangers.

I have always been thankful that my family didn’t move during my school years. My dad still lives in the same house in which I resided from kindergarten through high school. I never had to go through being the “new kid” on campus. Except, of course, for kindergarten – where the entire class is comprised of new kids. As are most staff and crews on new television shows.

I’m lucky that I find most of my colleagues incredibly bright and talented. I work in a highly collaborative industry and a teamwork spirit is essential. It’s almost like summer camp. (At least how I imagine summer camp to be – I hung out at a local elementary school basketball court when I was a kid. And it was a special day if Parks & Recreation supplied a partially inflated ball and a static-blaring transistor radio. But I digress…)

My point is that when you have a tight schedule and share a passion for your work with like-minded people, it is an intensely bonding experience. Most become fast friends but in a few months, you say your goodbyes and it’s off to a new adventure with new people.

Wedded Bliss

This weekend I attended a beautiful wedding. And it was a long time coming… 22 years, to be exact. The couple originally met and started dating 22 years ago. Since then, they broke up and had various relationships with others, but always maintained a close friendship. They got back together a few years ago, and now after long last, they are husband and wife.

It was a happy and beautiful day for all of us in Malibu. Everyone was full of stories and memories of the different stages of the couple’s relationship. The bride is one of the last of my sorority sisters to take the marital plunge. I often say my close circle of sorority sisters (about 15 girls) should be part of a sociological study. They truly defy the odds. Not only have they been long-married, but they are happily married. Some have kids, some don’t – but they all have wonderful and loving families.

And we all feel like we’re kind of a little family, too. There were three tables of sorority sisters at the reception and I was the only single gal. When the photographer came by to take pictures of all the couples, one of my sisters pulled me into the photo with her husband and her. It was a thoughtful gesture that came effortlessly. That’s what real friendship is all about.

We were all there, of course, to celebrate the marriage of the happy couple. But like many weddings, it was also a celebration of family and friendship. And cherishing the people with whom you share life’s milestones.

I wish for all the spirited women out there the kind of friendship that makes the happy days a little better, the difficult days a little easier, and everyday a little sweeter.

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

Dining With An Old Flame (Part 2)

This is an unexpected “Part 2”.

I posted about dining with my old flame a couple weeks ago. Since then, we have hit most of our favorite dining spots near my apartment. I’m still enjoying both the conversation and the food. But I’m rethinking my conclusion that you can simply be friends with an ex-boyfriend.

I should have seen this coming.  We fell into a predictable pattern over the years:

1. Take Out

2. Make Out

3. Break Up

4. Make Up

Repeat steps 1-4 over and over again...

Sometimes routines are nice. They can provide comfort and stability. But they can also become endless ruts with no chance of growth.

Don’t get me wrong, it feels fantastic being wooed. And the fact that my old boyfriend knows me so well, he can really put the “oooooh” in woo. But if we did get back together, I know exactly where it would lead… (see steps 1-4 above.)

We were friends before we were romantically involved and I know we’ll be friends again. But apparently a year apart isn’t enough time to start rebuilding our friendship yet.

When he left last night, he said “I miss you.” I will miss him, too.

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

Third Wheel

I don’t have a boyfriend. And I’m not dating anyone right now. But I do go out on dates every now and then. And by that, I mean that I go out on other people’s dates. It’s a great way to get to know the significant others of my dearest friends.

Last Friday, I went to dinner with one of my best friends and her boyfriend. It was lovely. We ate at an Italian restaurant and we all shared a chopped salad, barbeque chicken pizza, and a bottle of wine.

Sure, I guess I was technically the third wheel, but I got over feeling like one a long time ago. A good time was had by all as the conversation and Chianti flowed.

 I’ve joined my friends and their husbands/boyfriends to movies or dinner for years. Most of my friends are in relationships. I’m not. And my closest friends are thoughtful enough to invite me along on their date nights from time to time.

I love spending time with my gal pals – whether it’s a group get-together or a one-on-one with individual girlfriends. I also enjoy a one-on-two with friends and their partners in life. And I have to say, I’m lucky that I consider all my friends’ husbands/boyfriends my friends, too.

I’d like to encourage all the happy couples out there to make it a point to invite a friend who lives alone to join them on a date every once in a while. I’m here to tell you, it will mean a lot to them.

I hope to meet Mr. Right someday. And when I do, our romantic dates will definitely be twosomes, but I’m going to make sure a fun night out can just as easily be a threesome.

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

Deadlines: Love 'Em or Hate 'Em?

I work in an industry that has constant deadlines looming over one’s head. And when millions of dollars are on the line (television show budgets), these deadlines are nonnegotiable.

I used to thrive on deadlines. I was never big on studying in college and would always have to pull all-nighters, cramming before exams. And for the most part, it worked. I happen to have a fantastic memory and have always been a great test-taker.

But it wasn’t just in college that I felt the need for a deadline to get things done. As long as I can remember, I’ve always put off school projects until the last minute before rallying. I actually enjoyed the rush of the deadline… and I always made them. Was it my best work? Nope. Did I get a good grade? Yup.

And for the last few years, the unending work deadlines did nothing more than motivate me to combine creativity with efficiency.

But after the last few weeks of trying to keep multiple plates spinning, I’ve realized I am tired of deadlines. I would like my boss to say, “Hey Monica, whenever you get a chance, could you make these changes?  No hurry.”

Instead, I will be here late tonight, ensuring I make tomorrow morning’s deadline. And so it goes…

How do spirited women deal with deadlines? Do they cause you stress or are they the motivation you need to get the job done? Do they bring out your best or your worst?

Unfortunately, those are all the questions I have time for… I need to get this post in before the deadline!

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.

It's My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I’m at work like any other weekday. I have to meet the same deadlines as any other workday. But today is my birthday. Oh, did I already mention that?

Since my birthday falls in the middle of summer, I never got the chance to celebrate at school. And in college, I never got to skip around the table in my sorority house. Maybe that’s why I feel a bit needy for attention on my birthday. Or maybe it’s just because I like attention. I’m not proud of that. But I’m pretty sure that’s it.

The worst birthday I can remember was years ago. No one at work knew it was my birthday and I felt weird announcing it. My best friend had just had a baby and apparently had other things on her mind. So she was among the many people I didn’t hear from that year.

A colleague’s birthday was exactly one week later. As we talked the next day, I whined about my awful birthday and how so few people acknowledged it. She replied, “Yeah, mine was pretty bad, too.” She then went on to explain that her mother, with whom she lived, was suffering from Alzheimer’s and while being left alone for about 20 minutes, had set the kitchen on fire.

Boy, did that put things into perspective. I assumed that I would become a better person from that story and I would no longer crave extra attention just because it was my birthday. I was wrong.

All my spirited women friends lead incredibly busy lives. And between family, work, and vacations, I knew it would be a challenge for any kind of birthday get-together this year. So I let everyone know that I totally understand, and I would be fine with nothing more than a quick shout out via email or the like.

And for a time, I even believed it myself. But as my birthday crept closer, I began feeling a little lonely.  Since I live alone, I don’t get a “Good morning” or “Happy Birthday” on my way to the coffee maker.

And luckily for me, my friends understand that and thus put forth a little extra effort when it comes to my big day.

So, last night, four of my best friends took me out to a great dinner. I’m a happy girl. And, as it turns out, a girl who likes attention on her birthday. Again, I’m not proud of that. But I’m lucky enough to have friends that understand it.  And love me anyway.

- Monica Regal
Click here for more of Monica's posts.