Spirited Woman Blogger Team

Skin Deep

Beauty is only skin deep.  What's really important is finding a balance of mind, body, and spirit. -- Singer/dancer/actress Jennifer Lopez (1969 -     )

Irony, irony, all is irony.

I've always been told that I have the loveliest skin.  "You're 74?  No!  Your skin is like someone in her 50s!"  "What is your beauty regimen to get such beautiful skin?  Please.  I have to know!"  "Your skin!  It's so smooth!"

Yeah?  Well then, how come I found out last month (although the original prognosis was benign) that I have a small b.c.c. that has to be microsurgically removed?

Now, in this case, b.c.c. does not stand for blind carbon copy (an e-mail term) or back cover copy (one of the many promotional copywriting projects that I do for book authors).  No. In this case, b.c.c. stands for basal cell carcinoma.  It's the most common skin cancer, and I have a small b.c.c. on the side of my nose.

Well, I found out that this b.c.c. can probably be traced way back to my 20s, when I used to lie out in the sun and get sunburned.  If detected early (which this was), the prognosis is excellent.  In fact, my doctor (a young woman who trained at Harvard and Johns Hopkins -- that's about as good as it gets) told me that this is minor, it does not mean that I have cancer (I have skin cancer),  she is absolutely confident that she will get it all in my June 20 appointment, and that this whole episode will soon be in the past.  I'm grateful that, so far, this is a minor situation.

I would love to believe her.  I like her.  I am going to believe her.

Still...I am skeptical about doctors, since in early 1992, my late husband was told by doctors at Stanford Medical that he was "healthy as a horse," and by November 1992, another doctor (horrible man, a surgeon with an icy-cold stare) told me that my husband had Stage 4 colon cancer that had migrated to the liver and had four months to live.  So...pardon me if I am HUGELY skeptical about anything any doctor says, no matter how much I may personally like her, or him.

So, on June 20, I will join five other patients in my local dermatology clinic.  All of us will be there for something called Mohs Micrographic Surgery, which, by all accounts, is the most thorough yet noninvasive surgery around, with the highest cure rate.

I've talked with many friends and acquaintances in the last couple of weeks about this whole b.c.c. thing.  Everyone seems to know someone who has had a b.c.c removed, without any further complications.  I'm going to believe that, after June 20, I will be in that group.

In the meantime, I told my doctor that I'm rather fond of my nose, since it's been part of me for 74 years, so I hope there will be minor damage to it.  She assured me that she will make an appointment for me with a plastic surgeon she knows the next day, if I need that.  In the meantime, I'll take one last look at my nose the way it is now.  And know that beauty is only skin deep. 

Joyful Reconnecting

Yesterday I received an early-morning surprise e-mail from a local friend who's been on a marathon travel schedule this year -- three weeks in Bermuda, two weeks in Greece, a week in Wisconsin. I only pencil in her "at-home" dates in my calendar, because I know those numbers could change at any moment.

My friend had only a couple of days to spend at home before she would be packing up and flying off again.  She asked if we could get together late in the afternoon at one of our favorite neighborhood watering holes to catch up on what had been going on in our lives.

I quickly cleared the decks of all other plans and showed up at the restaurant precisely at 4:30 p.m., confident that the next couple of hours would be chock-full of laughter, stories, looking at digital family photos, and sharing confidences.

My expectations were right on the mark.

After we joked on e-mail that we were not sure we'd recognize each other -- it's been weeks and weeks since we last met, in February --  as I strolled up to her table, we both shouted with delight and embraced like longlost sisters.  Then we immediately ordered top-shelf margaritas, chips and guacamole, and proceeded to make up for lost time.

Yes, it's exciting to make new friends, but truly, reconnecting with old friends is just about one of the most joyful experiences I can imagine.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
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Speak Up!

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself.  Aloud. -- French fashion designer Coco Chanel (1883-1971)

This week marked a turning point.

Way back on July 2, 2009, I wrote a Spirited Woman blog post called Speaking Out.  In it I described a mild voice condition I have, SD (spasmodic dysphonia).  It results in an often quirky-sounding voice.  Sometimes my voice sounds normal, at other times like I'm choking, strangling, or crying.  SD is a fairly rare condition; about 56,000 people in the U.S. have it.

There's no cause or cure for this neurological condition, except injections of botox (yes, botox) directly into the vocal cords every six months or so. I have such a mild case of SD that I'm not going to go down the botox route. Recently I found out, though, that there is a vocal discipline called The Alexander Technique  that has been proven to help people with SD somewhat.  Most likely, I will probably call on a well-known Alexander Technique teacher in Sausalito for some sessions.

At any rate, having this quirky (by which I mean, unpredictable) voice has inhibited me from choosing to speak in public. I do, however, stand up at my monthly independent publishers' group during the introductions to state who I am and what I do.  Sometimes my voice sounds perfectly fine, and sometimes it sounds croaky.  When it sounds odd, I always add a disclaimer, "Please pardon my voice."

Earlier this week, I got a phone call from a writers' group over in the East Bay. They found me because they wanted representatives from independent publishers' groups to speak on a panel on June 1, and I'm the communications person for my local group.  The panel, as described, will have three participants, each of whom will talk for 15 minutes before an audience of about 60 published and aspiring writers.

On a whim, I enthusiastically told the caller that I would be delighted to be on the panel.  I plan to talk about both my group, BAIPA [Bay Area Independent Publishers Association], and about how important it is for authors to work with a professional book manuscript copyeditor.

After I hung up the phone, I realized with surprise that I did not have a moment's hesitation about signing up to speak up, and speak out, at this June 1 date.  It seemed like the most natural thing in the world, since the audience will be receptive to the discussion, and since I have solid knowledge about the topics.

Also, my natural style of speaking is, dare I say, interesting and humorous.  So why should I let a quirky-sounding voice hold me back?  Ah, but it's taken years to get to this point where I immediately accepted an invitation to speak up!  About time!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

The Merry, Merry Month of May

While strolling through the park one day, In the merry, merry month of May... -- From Fountain in the Park, Ed Haley, 1884

What a relief to be in the bright, shiny, merry month of May!

Oh, April had some high points and good experiences, to be sure.  But it also had the income tax deadline, a surprise minor health scare, and a couple of no-show clients.

And now here's a magnificent new month, with infinite possibilities.

Today really did start off with a bang -- at least as far as my work projects go.

I'm having a lively back-and-forth e-mail exchange with a sci-fi fantasy author in Bermuda about the back cover copy for his book. He asked me to rewrite it, and we're conferring until we reach a final version he likes.

Earlier today I drove up to Sonoma, about 45 minutes north of Marin, through gorgeous vineyards and rolling hills.  I had come across a small publishing company that works on interesting books, and sent the president of the company an e-mail asking about free-lance editing and writing.  He forwarded my query to the editorial manager, and she and I met for lunch today.  The upshot: I have a big new book project to ghostwrite.

So let's welcome this fresh, clean slate that is May, and hope for the best!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

A Sweet Saturday Night in Sausalito

On rare occasions, everything seems to come together in the sweetest way. Saturday night in Sausalito was such an occasion.

My friend and I started cooking up plans to celebrate our March birthdays weeks ago.  But, because of out-of-town trips and busy schedules, it was necessary to postpone the celebration until late April.

She and I and our Significant Others have been going through some stressful times; we wanted to find the right venue for an evening of talking, laughing, sharing stories, and just having fun.

I suggested that we all meet for dinner at a restaurant made famous in the '60s and '70s. At the time the Trident was owned by The Kingston Trio and was a popular hangout for musicians, actors, and the like.  Janis Joplin had a regular table there, in fact.

Although the restaurant recently underwent a "refresh" of its interior, the huge circular windows on one side looking out at the Bay, the psychedelic painted ceiling, the curved booths, and the dark wood walls from the '60s are all still there.

You can sit outside, warmed by heaters at night, at picnic benches or smaller tables, or opt for an indoor table.  Either way, you've got a magnificent view of the San Francisco skyline and of every type of water vessel, from huge Chinese cargo ships to catamarans to skiffs to triple-decker party boats.

The food was delicious (starting with an out-of-this-world mac 'n' cheese appetizer), and so were the drinks.  A guitarist was playing and singing nostalgic songs in the background; my friend requested some James Taylor favorites of hers, and the musician obliged her.

It was so very pleasant to share a sweet Saturday night with friends in Sausalito!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Party Time

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" -- Robin Williams, American comedian (1952-    )

Last Sunday I was really looking forward to going to a party at a friend's home in Mill Valley.

The get-together was announced on very short notice. Nonetheless, I was sure that several people from our former multimedia organization would drive to Marin from Sonoma, the East Bay, the Peninsula, even Santa Cruz for the party.

As I gingerly drove around the hidden lanes and steep hills of Mill Valley, many good memories of parties in this house with the gorgeous view came to mind. But because my friend has moved to the Peninsula and is selling her house, this would definitely be our last party there.

Sure enough, when I arrived, about 25 people were in the livingroom drinking wine, eating munchies and chatting. Long, satisfying hugs were exchanged by our multimedia group members, as we immediately launched into conversations that seemed to pick up right where they had left off months ago.

So interesting to talk about music, acting, art, writing and other creative pursuits with people who understand what the often-precarious life of "artistic types" is like!

Even though the Mill Valley house is now history, it seems the group will manage to meet once a year or so somewhere in the Bay Area.  Party on!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Boston Breathes a Sigh of Relief

As so many Americans were, I was absolutely glued to the television set this entire week. Beginning with the horrendous bombings at the Boston Marathon on Monday and ending last night with the capture of the second suspect, this was an amazing saga.

Thank heavens, this extremely harrowing week for Boston and its suburbs ended on Friday night with pictures of jubilant Watertown residents cheering and applauding their thanks that the suspect was in custody.

How serene Boston seemed in more innocent times!

I first came to live in Boston in 1962, right after graduating from college, hoping to find a job in book publishing.  I answered an ad in the Boston Globe, and a few weeks later, started working as an advertising copywriter in the Trade Book Department at Little, Brown Publishers.

At lunchtime it was fun to walk across Boston Common, perhaps to shop at Filene's, or go to one of the many restaurants on Park Street or Tremont Street, or watch the Swan Boats. After work, I might go a jazz club near the Boston Common, feeling safe the whole time, even after dark.

After several years of adventures in various places, I returned to Boston in 1969. In fact, I lived on the same block on Norfolk Street in Cambridge where the bombing suspects and their parents lived for several years in the early 2000s.  Back then, there were never any hints that something like the events of this past week could happen.

Thank heavens this nightmarish week is over.  Finally, for those of us who've lived in and loved the city, as well as observers worldwide -  we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Timeless Message

The other night we watched Gentleman's Agreement, one of Gregory Peck's best movies.  Besides Peck, the other stars were the luminous Dorothy Maguire as his fiancee, Dean Stockwell as Peck's young son, Anne Revere as Peck's mother, June Havoc (sister of Gypsy Rose Lee) as his secretary, and John Garfield as his best friend Dave Goldman.

The Oscar-nominated screenplay was written by the famous playwright Moss Hart (You Can't Take it With You, The Man Who Came to Dinner).  The movie was directed by Elia Kazan (On the Waterfront, Streetcar Named Desire).

Even though the movie was made in 1947, I was struck by its timeless message of a man who confronted prejudice and bigotry head-on in an effort to understand the full impact of anti-Semitism.

Gentleman's Agreement features Peck as a reporter who pretends to be Jewish in order to write a series of articles about anti-Semitism from the perspective of first-hand experience.

During his research, he discovers that the liberal company he works for actually does not hire Jews, that he will be refused a room in a "restricted" hotel, that certain people stay away from social events if they know Jews will be in attendance, and that even renting an apartment is unlikely if the landlord discovers the prospective renter is Jewish.  Peck's writing becomes impassioned after he experiences anti-Semitism first-hand.

As I watched Gregory Peck's stunning performance -- he's an actor who always seemed to be the quintessential man of decency, no matter what role he played (especially Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird) -- I truly believed that he was that reporter, struggling to understand what made ordinary people hate him just because he was Jewish.

Thank heavens, times have changed and evolved, and many of the barriers that "restricted" Jews from living a normal life have fallen.  "Gentleman's Agreement," however, is a poignant reminder of the way things were.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Fish Story

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali.  He was using a dotted line.  He caught every other fish. -- Comedian Steven Wright (1955-    )

Well, the quote at the top of this post might fit the quintessential definition of a "fish story" -- an incredible, fanciful, implausible tale.

But I was thinking recently about what delicious meals I've had where fish played the starring role.

At a monthly dinner for a Board I belong to, the entree I chose was golden trout, which was new to me but sounded intriguing.  The trout was cooked to perfection, and, accompanied by jasmine rice and asparagus, with a glass of pinot grigio, made for a memorable meal.

Later, a bit of research about the golden trout uncovered the fact that it is a sub-species of rainbow trout.  And, not only that, the California State Legislature had deemed the golden trout as our State Fish (with all the perks and privileges that go along with that honor, I presume).  Who knew?

Last year when I visited Seattle, a friend took me to a waterfront restaurant for a lunch that featured Copper River salmon.  This fish, Alaska's premier wild salmon, is only available every year from mid-May to mid-June.

Restaurants make a big deal about it, and there's a reason -- it is scrumptious.

And then I remembered the luscious Maine lobster that I first encountered at restaurants in Boston, but have since eaten here in the Bay Area as well.

All in all, I'm celebrating these fishy tales.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

Just Exactly the Right Person

It's getting the right person that's the challenge. -- Bob Schieffer, CBS News, Chief Washington Correspondent (1937-    )

Bob Schieffer's quote above refers to finding the right person to marry -- and wowie zowie, having married for the first time at 31 and the second time at 62 (after I was widowed), I can testify to the truth of what he says.  Finding that right person is indeed a mega-challenge.

But for me this past week, finding just exactly the right person refers to something else altogether.

I've been editing a fascinating novel for a musician who lives in Wales.  The theme is fanciful, mysterious, intriguing.  And quite difficult to capture in a book cover.

However, the cover of a book is so very important.  It is, of course, the first thing a person sees, and so it's got to (figuratively) reach out and grab him or her, make the potential reader want to actually open the pages of the book.

There are so many elements that go into a great book cover -- a design that conveys the essence of the book -- but as a "teaser," rather than giving the whole idea away; background colors that match the mood of the book; a font or typeface that can easily be read and is welcoming rather than intimidating; enough space between the words to create "breathing room," but not vast amounts of space.  You get the idea.

Well, the author in Wales sent me the sample cover from his book designer as a PDF, and asked me to give him my opinion about it.  He also requested that I forward the design to two or three knowledgeable friends for their opinions.

That's when I knew I had a challenge.  I had to come up with people who are not only opinionated and willing to state their opinions, but intelligent and knowledgeable about books and design.  Fortunately, I did zero in on three friends, all of whom came through like the champions they are.  Each one of them, for this challenge, was "just exactly the right person."

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.