Spirited Woman Blogger Team

Ah, There’s the Rub

Massage, I am sure, has lengthened my life and enriched my spirit. When lying face down in  semiconscious bliss while muscles unknot and tension drains away, it’s impossible to stay angry or stressed. Massage provides a soothing one-hour break from everyday life.

Living and traveling around the world has introduced me to many types of massage. And paying $15 per hour—as opposed to the American rate of $1.80 per minute—has increased my options. 

Throughout my travels - to such places as Kerala in southern India, Russia, and Port Townsend, Washington - massage themes have emerged

Kerala specializes in Ayurvedic massage, which improves one’s emotional balance, focus, and health. A practitioner determines the person’s dosha, or mind-body type, and develops a treatment in conjunction with the physical, emotional, and mental characteristics. Each session involves quite a bit of oil, which moisturizes your skin but can also stain your clothes or sheets, so rinse well.

The Ananda Spa, high above the Ganges River in northern India, specializes in Ayurvedic massage. And after one visit, I realized why it was one of Oprah’s favorite places. The check-in interview lays out a program for your particular dosha. You may choose from several treatments. I highly recommend the synchronized massage: two well-trained practitioners simultaneously massage each side of your body with identical movements. It’s paradise.

When I lived in Africa and in the Middle East, I had weekly massage therapy from women trained in Russia. Massage therapy focuses on muscles and pressure points to give pain relief and healing. Practitioners use their elbows a lot, which I love. Lena, my therapist in Africa, healed a nagging muscle ache from a ten-year-old weight-training injury. (I think she was also a Russian spy, but I learned how to evade her questions.)

Some women are squeamish about removing their clothing. I was. Yet a well-trained masseuse will maintain your privacy. But if your trust factor is low, there are two other options. A Thai massage has you dress in a loose karate kind of suit for an hour of being stretched. It can be intense, and you certainly won’t doze off, but in the end you’ll feel refreshed and limber.

Another option is reflexology, or zone therapy. You may think that a foot massage is nothing more than a balm for tired toes, but a competent therapist can detect issues. Mr. Boateng, my reflexologist in Ghana, was trained in Kerala. When he pressed on a certain zone on my foot, tears came to my eyes. He said I had spleen issues. I brushed it off until a few years later when an ultrasound revealed a calcified spleen.

To save money in the US, I look for deals. Living Social has a lot. Massage Envy also has a reasonable introductory offer. I avoid hotel massages. They are expensive and often disappointing.

If you choose massage, you'll need to choose your oil: Sandalwood? Lavendar? Almond?  Then relax and enjoy the rub.

- Nancy Adair  nancyadair2002@yahoo.com
Click here to read more of Nancy's posts.

Self-Sabotage

Why do you do so well on your new healthy eating plan for a couple of weeks and then eat a whole pan of brownies in one sitting? Exercise every morning for a month and start to feel fantastic, then suddenly stop going to the gym and start to feel tired and moody? Take on a new project at work that you know you could do a great job on - then wait until an hour before it is due to throw it together haphazardly?

Self-sabotaging behavior is when there is no logical or rational explanation for why you can't do the things you want to do even though you know it would benefit you if you did. It's not a lack of desire, skills, or intelligence that holds you back. It seems, for me at least, there's something inside that's stronger than the desire, and I sabotage myself and my efforts to do the things I want to do and have the things I want to have.

This type of behavior is most recognizable by the experience of an internal "tug-of-war" between having a desire to do something and feeling like you can't or just won't do it. Any time you hear yourself saying, "I wanted to do this, but I just didn’t and I don’t know why!" That's the inner conflict of self-sabotaging behavior.

The fascinating thing about self-sabotaging behavior is that it actually takes an enormous amount of energy and mental stress, much more than if you just took the action you wanted or needed to do in the first place. The mental stress of feeling behind or beating yourself up for how a situation in your life could have been better is a lot more work than moving  forward with your original plan of action. So what stops you?

That is a question that I ask myself quite often when I am in the midst of procrastination, avoiding or any type of self-sabotage. For me the answer usually comes down to some type of fear. But it is different for everyone and the circumstances that you are dealing with, whether personal or professional. 

Spirited women have a lot to do in this world, do you ever suffer from self-sabotage? How do you get through it and what lessons have you learned about yourself?

- Maureen Keyte
Click here for more of Maureen's posts.

Best Workout Food for Women On The Go

Energy bars, bottled smoothies and sports drinks are easy to throw in your gym bag, but other types of healthier food can be even better before or after your workout, for energy, stamina and hydration.

Spirited women have busy lives and it is enough of a challenge for you to fit in a workout, let alone prepare something healthy to eat before you do it. But, according to Women’s Health Magazine there are several foods that pack a punch during your fitness routine – and they are just as easy to grab and eat in the car on the way.

Here are some of my favorite choices:

Bananas - Thanks to bananas' high potassium content, peeling one is a speedy solution to that stitch in your side. While a lack of sodium is the main culprit behind muscle cramps, potassium plays a supporting role; you need it to replace sweat losses and help with fluid absorption. Bananas are also packed with energizing carbohydrates. One medium-size fruit has 400 milligrams of potassium and as many carbs (29 grams) as two slices of whole-wheat bread.

Whole Grain Bagels - Carbs are the optimal workout food. A whole-grain bagel is an ideal pre-sweat-session pick because the fiber causes you to digest it slowly, which will deliver a steady flow of energy over time rather than one big burst.

Berries - USDA researchers recently placed fresh berries on their list of the 20 foods richest in antioxidants. Just a handful of blueberries, raspberries, or blackberries are an excellent source of these potent nutrients, which protect muscles from free radical damage that might be caused by exercise. Shop for berries by the shade of their skin: The deeper the color, the healthier the fruit.

What Do You Resist?

Have you ever heard the saying “What you resist, persists,” attributed to the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Yung?

I find this principal simple to understand, but very difficult to integrate into my everyday way of being. The concept, as I understand it, is trying to tell you that anything that you don’t want in your life will continue to occur as long as you are putting your attention on it. So, if you are in any type of challenge - financial problems, heartbreak, illness, etc--- the more you dwell on it, talk about it or worry about it, the more it continues to be a part of your life. Even if you are saying to yourself, I don’t want this, I want this to stop, I want this to change – you are still strongly engaging the negative, and therefore creating more of it with your thoughts.

There are probably hundreds of books, seminars and tapes out talking about this idea of keeping your focus positively on the outcome of what you do want or need, feeling as if you already have it. But, how do you do it? If you really are worried or feeling stress over an issue in your life, how can you learn to shift your emotions to good feeling ones?

In my constant quest for self-awareness, most of what I’ve learned says to start with changing your thoughts and then your emotions will change. I think this is true, but it is easier said than done. It is actual “work” to constantly shift your mind and your body when you just don’t have those good feelings inside yourself – yet. The key word being –YET!

As spirited women, you probably already know how to live your life with acceptance and hopeful anticipation of what is coming to you. That doesn’t mean you don’t feel bad at times, but I think the message in Carl Yung’s famous saying is to move through it, be o.k. with where you are now instead of fighting against it and, most importantly, focusing with faith that what you do want is on its way to you.

Do you have experience with resisting and persisting in your life? How do you stop resisting?

- Maureen Keyte
Click here for more of Maureen's posts.

Light on Eating

The holiday season with its light, love and cheer gives us the perfect opportunity to be present and conscious with the food that we eat as we enjoy the range of culinary delights.

When was the last time you sat down to a meal and actually tasted every bite?

I’ve heard it said that after six bites of the same dish, our taste buds get bored.. Usually we are so busy talking or worrying over the days events that we hardly notice the food we are eating. In a very real way, our distraction can lead to our body hardly “noticing” its nourishment.

The quality of conversation during a meal can influence how your body assimilates food: staying conscious of what you think and say during eating allows food to be transformed into the most vital energy, capable of providing loving nourishment to the body and psyche. On the other hand, eating while angry or distracted may decrease the useful absorption of nutrients. Conscious eating is the first step toward a spiritually constructive and harmonious relationship with food, and learning to practice true calm during you meals can be satisfying and elevating..

An important part of my spiritual training took place in The Hungry Mouth Restaurant of San Francisco’s Baptiste Yoga and Health Center in the 1980’s, as both a chef and food server. As students of Raja Yoga, we were taught to apply what we were learning about the power of our thoughts into every part of our life, including food and its service. A hand-made sign over the stove reminded the chef to be aware of imbuing the food with love, Likewise, the waiters and waitresses were expected to be conscious of the quality of their thoughts while bring food from the chef to the customer and when serving. It was all about consciousness. (I devote an entire chapter to these principles in my book The Tenth Door.

Applying this knowledge to your food attitude during this holiday period will keep you clear and guilt free.  And please remember, being conscious of eating does not preclude enjoying the holiday goodies. Be mindful to avoid even a trace of guilt! You’ll truly enjoy what you choose and every cell will sing!

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
Click here to read more of Michele's posts.

Magic Number

A popular piece of adornment these days is the wrist mala.Yoga practitioners and fashonistas alike can be spotted wearing bracelets made of everything from sandlewood to semi-precious stones. Many are unaware of their significance and few are aware of their use as a sacred spiritual tool.

Elizabeth Gilbert patterned her best seller, Eat Pray Love, around the structure of Hindu prayer beads or malas dividing the chapters of her famous book into fractions of 108 --the number of beads on the mala’s sacred circle. Traditionally, malas are used to repeat a mantra or prayer-much like the Catholic rosary. Interestingly, there are also also 108 beads in the Bhuddist prayer beads while the early Catholic rosary had exactly half that number or 54 beads.

What is the significance of 108? In Indian culture 108 is considered to be a number of completion and wholeness. In numerology, zero, the circle represents unity. Eight is the number that represents infinity. One and eight equal nine which represents completeness.

In astronomy, the average distance of the sun and the moon to earth is 108 times their respective diameters. It is said that in India their are 108 sacred sites throughout the country and 108 marma (sacred) points on the human body.

Wrist malas are a smaller version of the standard mala which has 108 beads.

Many wrist malas, although not all, are composed of a fraction of 108. Twenty-seven is a common number. Once you learn use how to use them you will imbue your own precious spiritual energy into the beads and they will become a protection for you.

1. Remove the bracelet and place your thumb and forefinger on one of the beads.

2. In your mind repeat a sacred phrase--a word or words that are sacred to you. It might be the name of the divine according to your wisdom tradition, the words peace harmony, well-being, or joy, peace, bliss. Whatever you choose repeat the same phrase with the tongue of the mind as your fingers move from bead to bead.

3.  Complete one circle on the beads..

4.  Replace them on your wrist. Do this at least once daily.

As you become adept in this ancient practice, you will find that the malas become a great friend and a sacred time for you to connect with your indwelling spirit.

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
Click here to read more of Michele's posts.

Creative Musings

As long as I can remember, I’ve been intrigued by the creative process. The act of bringing something into existence is truly amazing. What is this magic and from where does it originate? We often attribute the art to the artist but every truly creative person understands that they are not the source, rather they are the instrument through which the Art moves.

Historically, earlier cultures have attributed the power of creativity to a goddess or spirit that, when connected to them, we become the vehicle through which creativity flows. In the early Vedic culture of ancient India,  people called on the goddess Saraswati to awaken the creative flow. The Greeks attributed the creative force to nine Muses also goddesses, while the Romans believed that every person had an inner being they called a Genius. The Genius was a divine being present within every person, place and thing, that was responsible for all artists’ work (interesting to note that the plural of genius is genii).

My spiritual teacher, Walt Baptiste, called the creative force itself Art. The true artist, he said, is on the path of evolving consciousness or spirit. As the artist grows spiritually, it is reflected in the power of her artwork and this touches the consciousness of all who experience it.

Music, painting, drawing, dance, writing, poetry, sculpting, singing are what are most commonly considered to be part of the creative arts, but what about our thinking? Our very thought is creative and out of our thinking we create our lives. This is certainly a very high form of art. However, the greatest creativity of all is our ability to Re-Create ourselves. Ultimately this is the goal of the Spirited Woman---to grow and unfold into the fullness and wholeness of all that we can be.

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
Click here to read more of Michele's posts.

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

As you aspire to life to the fullest, you will undoubtedly face all types of disappointing situations, both large and small. Actually the more you seek to step into a greater life and move ahead in your career, take a chance learning something new, or open your heart to romance…the greater your risk of being disappointed.

In the state of disappointment, your thoughts can become obsessive and overly dramatic. Being in that mental state can prevent you from thinking clearly and logically and cause you to think small in that situation…not looking at the bigger picture in the grand scheme of your life. Sometimes it feels like you have taken twenty steps forward, only to then take ten backwards. But you really are not, you are moving ahead and building qualities such as; patience, resilience and self-knowledge on your journey through life.

The key to handling disappointment, in a Spirited Woman way, is to consciously take your focus from what you think you should have in that moment, and turn it around to a more positive mindset. I’m not saying to ignore your own feelings of sadness with positive affirmation that are simply not true for you. Maybe just something more neutral, for example the thought -- everything happens for a reason.

I have had my share of disappointments in my life and often take notice to the good that eventually comes from them in the long run. Although I was disappointed with a failed marriage, I now see that being single has allowed me to make the most amazing friends that come running at the drop of a hat whenever I need them. I would have never met these women had I remained in “coupledom.” The end of my sales career led me to finding my true passion of writing, a creative outlet that I never had the chance to pursue while working in sales. Opening my heart in the dating world is a book in itself of ups and downs, but it has brought men my way who have shown me how I deserve to be treated. And I will never settle for anything less again.

So, if you are facing disappointment - don’t hide from it or ignore your feelings, but rather find ways to extract value from the experience. And most of all know that it can teach you to learn from your setbacks, accept your life for the blessing that it is, and come out the other side stronger.

- Maureen Keyte
Click here for more of Maureen's posts.

How Do You See Yourself?

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. - Mother Teresa

This may seem odd to you, but when I casually look in a mirror as I pass by, sometimes I often don’t recognize me. I see someone with graying, curly hair and more than a few wrinkles in time. You see, there’s a part of me that continues to see myself as 17-years-old. The problem is I haven’t been 17-years-old for (gulp!) over 40 years. Does that imply some magical thinking on my part? Nah! My psychological marbles are mostly round and functioning properly. But, it does speak to how I see myself, aka my body image. 

One online definition of body image is: “the subjective concept of one’s physical appearance based on self-observation and the reactions of others.” Would you like to know what I think of that definition? Pure hooey… specifically regarding the last three words. It’s when we allow ourselves to get caught by the “reaction of others” that we might as well flush our internal power down the toilet. A Spirited Woman is all about acknowledging her personal power, right?

There are two ways in which body image has been defined: first, as a medical and psychological term for defining self-perception; second, as a social and cultural phenomenon. Both of these ideas are, in reality, interconnected — however, it makes sense in the present context to examine them separately. It’s the social and cultural phenomenon aspect that I want to discuss in this blog. I’ll tackle the medical definitions next week.

In my humble opinion, we’re sorta missin’ the boat when it comes to having a healthy body image. It all starts with self-appreciation. If we don’t appreciate ourselves, we’re highly unlikely to take care of the machine in which we’re walking around. Human beings are essentially a highly complex communication vehicle. Remember the computer term “garbage in/garbage out?” That phrase applies to our bodies, too. The garbage, in this sense, can be anything from unhealthy edibles to false, limiting beliefs.

Remember to Remember - The Importance of Breath

Did you know that your breath is intricately connected to your emotional state? When you are feeling depressed, sad or angry, you breathe a certain way and when you are feeling inspired and on top of the world, you breathe another way.

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? The breath or the mood?

The truth is that you can’t separate the two--they are intricately intertwined. The important thing is to understand that by changing your breath, you can instantly change your emotional thermometer.

At some point you have most likely been told to breathe deeply when under stress--a very helpful practice to be sure. But with awareness and intention you can take this principle of breath/emotional state to the next level. Another step on the road to self-mastery for the spirited woman.

In order to delve a little deeper into what makes us tick, the first step is to stop, find a quiet and comfortable place and lie down. Let your body be still and after two or three minutes bring your attention to the breath. Allow a slow and calm breath to settle in the solar plexus area. Continue it until you feel a shift within yourself. You will know when this occurs. When you are in a state of calm and well-being, you will be breathing the breath of calm and well-being. Look at that breath very carefully. How do you breathe when all is ideally well? Get to know the quality of the breath of well-being. Study it and make a mental note of it so that you can recall it at will no matter the circumstance.

Once you have a clear memory of the quality of the breath of well-being, you can recall it and use it at any time. The trick is to remember to remember. What often happens is that once we are stuck in a negative mood, we get caught in it and forget that we are the one in the drivers seat. We have the breathing tool to pull out of it immediately but we forget to use it. In a way, we get lost in our negative moods. They’re familiar to us and they become uncomfortable habits.

That’s why it’s so important to practice breathing daily. So the breath of well-being becomes a habit and it becomes second nature for us to consciously use it. When we do, there will be an instantaneous response physiologically and emotionally. We will no longer be striving to be well. Instead we will be well-being itself.

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
Click here to read more of Michele's posts.