Spirited Woman Blogger Team

The Power of a Dream

My stepdaughter, Logan, was seven when she discovered her life’s calling. During a parent career day at school, she learned about obstetrics and by the end of the day, she decided she wanted to deliver babies, become an obstetrician.

Logan has always been fascinated with babies. At five, she received a most realistic life-sized doll complete with a stroller. She faithfully fed, changed and rocked the doll, in addition to pushing the stroller with baby at the mall. The surprised looks and double takes kept us amused for hour.

Her vision never wavered. Logan volunteered at birthing centers, watched marathon TV shows on hospital deliveries and shadowed OBs at various hospitals. She graduated high-school early and earned a scholarship to college, where, not surprisingly, she declared pre-med/biology as her major. She became a Certified Nursing Assistant and got a job at the University Cancer Hospital. It seemed that her life journey was laid out and ready to go.

Then the speed bumps popped up – despite working with prestigious study groups, Logan’s MCAT scores did not reflect her ability well. She was disappointed to miss out on the initial round of medical school applications but remained firm in her dream. She decided to pursue a Medical Masters – the equivalent of the first year of medical school. Logan earned her masters with all As and a B – we were all certain that this would be the stepping stone to medical school.

But we were disappointed. Even though she made the waitlist for her first choice school, there were no available slots. We were stunned at the setback. Logan, however, remained focused. She followed up with the med school recruiters to determine what else to do to ensure entry. She took on volunteer work in a research lab and worked two jobs to pay-off her Masters Degree. She even earned credits through volunteer work to become a Vet Tech. Through all the extra work and delays, Logan never lost sight of the dream.

And then on September 21, that dream became a reality. She was accepted in early admission at her first school of choice – on her 23rd birthday. It took almost three years of knocking on the door of opportunity but she never gave up. The power of her dreams kept her motivated when life’s interruptions tried to interfere.

I am so proud of our daughter.  The experience has been humbling and exhilarating, frustrating and empowering. She has emerged a stronger, more resilient woman who has faced losing her life’s dream – but did not surrender. That’s the power of her dream, and she is an inspiration for her dad and me.

- Allison Blankenship, http://www.allisonspeaks.com,  http://www.UpsideTheBook.com
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The Last Eunuch

Years ago when I visited Beijing for my academic research, a fellow scholar asked me if I would like to meet the last eunuch of China. Of course I was curious to witness this bit of Chinese history, a custom fortunately abandoned a century ago.

The ninety-odd-year-old eunuch lived with a fortyish man in a small area next to the former Imperial Palace. When we went inside, I was surprised to see an old woman and a younger man who was steaming buns and brewing tea. Then I realized that the old woman was the eunuch. Castrated in his early teens and so completely deprived of testosterone, he never grew a beard or a masculine physique. Even his voice was high like a woman’s. 

He told me that his family, in abject poverty, had to give him away when he was a boy. He had two choices: entering the imperial palace to be a eunuch or joining a temple to be a monk. These were the only ways he could be housed and fed. He chose the palace even at the cost of his manhood.

I asked why and he said, “Because I was so poor this would be the only chance for luxury, not to mention that I’d be close to the emperor, empress, princes and princesses.”

When I asked if he regretted this choice, his answer was, “But I wouldn’t have a woman if I were a monk, either!”

However, even being a eunuch didn’t stop him from having a family. In his sixties, he left the palace, married and had children. Of course he couldn’t make his wife pregnant, so the children were adopted. But why would a woman choose to marry a eunuch?

He smiled mischievously. “Because I was famous.”

Unfortunately the wife died early, that was why the government sent the young man to take care of him.

When we were sipping tea and eating buns, he suddenly asked, “Do you have a TV?” I nodded and he went on, “Life is lonely here. I wish I had a TV and you could come often so we could watch Hong Kong soap operas together!”

Mingmei Yip, http://www.mingmeiyip.com
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Your Hair Over The Holidays (or Anytime, Really!)

As I've shared with you again and again, the subject of fashion and beauty is not an easy one for me. I easily get overwhelmed by anything having to do with this subject. In particular, my hair seems to throw me into an irrational state of whether I am pretty or not. Clearly, this has to do with my childhood and self-esteem issues - all of which I've seemed to place in my hair!

Recently, I was introduced to Sonya Dove by fashion consultant Kimberly Seltzer. Sonya is the co-owner and creative director of The Doves Studio in Santa Monica, CA. She is a very highly-regarded stylist, and travels the world teaching others about hair. She is one of the world's experts on color. And as fate would have it, I also trusted Sonya enough to cut my hair which is a miracle. She is kind, a perfectionist, a good listener, and is really smart about hair.

In my next post, which will appear right before Christmas, I will show you my before and after shots of what Sonya did in terms of giving me a new look with my hair, my hair color, and make-up (actually, someone else in her salon does that). I think you will see an amazing transformation (at least, from the outside in). I am a strong believer that inner beauty is what truly makes you shine.

In the meantime, Sonya has given you some outstanding tips and advice for the holidays and beyond.

Q. Sonya, when did your love affair with hair begin? And was there a moment when you knew you would become a hairstylist that defined your life?
A. I knew i have always wanted to work with people since I was a little girl. Originally at school I wanted to be a Nutritionist but I could not get a degree in biology which is what i needed, so at the time I was dating Christopher Dove, he was 15 and myself 13 years old. His family suggested to me that I go to Cosmetology school with Chris as this was what he  had planned to do. The day I started I realised this was such a love. I not only could help people look good but also make them feel good from the inside out. I belong to a company here in the USA called Beauty Changes Lives, and this truly is a great statement as a new look can change your outlook on life and about yourself.

Q. Originally from England, you are the co-owner and creative director of The Doves in Santa Monica, CA. What is your salon known for?
A. The Doves is known for excellent quality hair color, cutting and styling work. We are also very proud of our warm, friendly, family- like environment because we are teachers in the professional hair industry as well. We encourage our staff to collaborate and consult with each client in order to give the right result for the client. Overall our clients enjoy that we are a very professional salon and focused on giving the customer the best possible service.

Q. What do you find most women come to a hairstylist for?
A. Most people come to a stylist for advice on a style and color that suits their face shape, skin color and their lifestyle. However, what most women want, is to feel as though they have been heard. They also want knowledge of what is best and why. This is why we consider  the consultation process to be the most important step in our relationship with our client. Many women are looking for a change. They either want their look to be "updated" or changed completely to meet with a personal change that they have gone through.

Q. As a hairstylist what do you feel is your most important role when working with your client?
A. The most important role as a stylist is to be a very good listener and try to determine what the unspoken need or desire is. For example, sometimes as a stylist you have to use a bit of psychology to sort through what the client's personal needs are and then use your professional ability to give them the look that meets both their physical and emotional needs.

In the Land of Eternal Spring

Sitting on my hotel balcony in Costa Rica, overlooking the glorious lush tropical landscape, my gaze goes to a nearby placid lake surrounded by lush tropical plants, trees and gardens spreads out for miles in all directions. A dramatic volcano looms in the distance.

Costa Rica is abundant with glories of nature. The country boasts over 900 species of birds and it is advanced in protecting both wildlife and its natural resources. Instead of an army, they spend their money on education and even the most remote villages have elementary schools. As a result it has the second highest literacy rate in the world. The health care system also gets high marks. Even if only one family member works, everyone in the family receives health care for $18 a month. There is a huge middle class and very little poverty in the way that you see it in other Central American countries.

Although we appreciate much about the country, my husband and I chose this location for our yoga retreat primarily because of the richness of nature and the powerful life force that emanates from it. It’s easy to forget in the confines of city life, the impact that immersing ourselves in nature can have on our energy field and on our consciousness. We are more than flesh and blood and bone. We are beings of energy vibrating at speeds of light. We absorb our surroundings and breathe into ourselves the vibration of our environment.

Nature has its own powerful consciousness. It does not get lost in the past or dream of the future. It is always in the present moment. When we spend time immersed in its embrace, and consciously breathe its energy into ourselves, our consciousness is lifted and we are healed on deep levels of our being and effortlessly drawn into the powerful present. The only moment. Now.

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
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I'm Going To Miss My Team

After a long season of work, my school’s girls cross country team made it to states. It was a long season, but I think we all learned something about working hard and coming together as a team.

When cross country season started, some of us had known each other for years, and others walked into the season as strangers. By the end of the three and a half months we had spent together, we had all really grown into a team that had a completely different attitude than my teams before - the attitude of succeeding as a team.

I am personally still in shock that the season is over. I am going to miss talking about my day during runs after school, sleep overs, and hilarious bus rides to meets. In a way though I am glad it is finished because it is nice looking back at something and knowing you finished well. While we were in no position to win the state meet, we still went out and tried our best and ended up doing better than our predicted 9th place finish.  Afterwards, I could see everyone had a spark in their eyes and was thinking, “Hey, we’re not so bad after all. Maybe in a few years we could have a shot at winning this.” Of course this is every teams dream, but just knowing that we were all thinking the same things was a really great moment.

Part of being a Spirited Woman is getting to experience these great moments. While many of us don’t get to run in the state championships for cross country, there are many other “state championships” in our lives. We must learn to always remember these and to strive to get there.

Alice, The Spirited Kid
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Kind Remembrance

This a legend so no one knows if it really happened. In ancient China, there was a Buddhist nun given the religious name, Liang Nian (Kind Remembrance).

Before she became a nun, she was the privileged daughter of an extremely wealthy merchant. But her life was sad. She wanted to be a nun but was forced to marry someone she did not love. So she made an agreement with her family that after she’d given birth to three children, she would be allowed to leave home and live her own life.

When she was 28, three healthy children had been born to her. She left them in the care of the other wives, and left home to fulfill her goal to be a nun. However, when she applied, the abbesses all refused to admit her as a nun in their temple because she was too beautiful.  They believed that men would be drawn to the temple, interrupting their peaceful, chaste way of life and bringing bad luck.

But Liang Nian would not give up her determination. So one day she took a red hot iron and pressed it onto each of her cheeks. Now, scared and unattractive she was at last permitted to enter the nunnery to seek enlightenment.

Mingmei Yip, http://www.mingmeiyip.com
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Softness

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try to give their best qualities to men - bring them softness, teach them how to cry. - Singer/songwriter Joan Baez

I was thinking the other day: a Spirited Woman is usually up to meeting intricate challenges in a creative, individualistic way. Doesn't that mean she has to be tough mentally, even though her heart and spirit may be tender and open? How does one successfully reconcile being both hard and soft?

The other day I was noticing that a favorite TV news anchor of mine, Chris Jansing usually dresses in soft, muted, gorgeous colors - moss green, wedgwood blue, dusty rose, ivory, shimmering gray - that compliment her delicate features and complexion. Oh, once in a while she'll stand before the cameras in a hot pink or neon blue outfit, but not often. The soft colors really suit her best. Chris's personality is an interesting combination. She's an intelligent, accomplished, professional woman who is always prepared and asks tough questions of her interviewees, yet her demeanor is very ladylike.

Look at some of the various, sometimes contradictory, definitions of the word soft:

- It's very pleasant to experience a soft breeze when you're having lunch on a sunny deck.
- Movie stars of a certain age prefer that their directors film them using a soft-focus lens.
- For too many years lately, we've had a soft economy in the U.S.
- You want to listen to rap music? Have you gone soft in the head?
- Jack's been soft on Jill for years, but she doesn't seem to notice his crush.
- He works at an art gallery from 11 to 3 - what a soft job!
- If you work out regularly, you won't get soft.
- She studies the soft sciences -- psychology, sociology, anthropology.
- The reporter threw the presidential candidate a softball question.
- Your silk dress is sensuous to the touch, such a soft fabric.

Softness, in the right combination with toughness, is a lovely and powerful attribute.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
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Let the Mountain Come To You

Have you ever had a day where your mind is all over the place and you can’t seem to focus? Rather than riding it out until it’s over and spending precious time in a funk there are time-tested ways to break through these periods quickly. One of them involves  the simple act of walking.

Contemplative walking is a powerful way to purposefully bring your mind, body and spirit together. Many wisdom traditions use this practice as a method to help us move into the present moment and experience ourselves as the receiver rather than the doer.

Yoga offers us a walk that incorporates moving on the breath. You count the length of your breath with each step as you breathe in for the count of three and out for three. In a matter of minutes you may find yourself walking a few feet off the ground as the rhythmic pattern of your steps and your breath brings you to a state of peace, harmony and well-being.

In the Japanese Zen tradition, there is a meditative walking practice that often follows a period of seated meditation. For years, my husband, Mehrad and I have taken groups of students to a Zen Monastery located on a mountain outside of Los Angeles where we participate with the monks in their morning chanting and meditation.

First, there is tea ceremony, than chanting in original Japanese. (Yes, they give us printouts to follow). After chanting, there are three 20-minute sessions of seated meditation alternating with 10 minutes of contemplative walking outside the Zendo (meditation room) in a circle as a group. In the Zen tradition, the group walks very slowly as one unit, each person following the exact steps of the person before her.

Walking on a labyrinth is an adventure in itself. Labyrinths in the West date back to the Celtic culture. In the U.S., many churches and hospitals have constructed labyrinths for walking meditation practice inspired by the labyrinth on the floor of Chartre Cathedral in France. Following a designated circular path you mindfully walk into the center aware of each step, and every breath and walk out renewed.

At Rancho La Puerta Spa and Fitness Resort a special meditation hike is offered in which you are guided to “let the mountain come to you” rather than actively going toward the mountain. A very different approach indeed and one which can be life changing. Try living life that way. Let the mountain come to you.

- Michele Hébert, www.rajayogis.net
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From Root Beer Flavored Lip Gloss to the Meaning of True Love

This is the final post in Vicky's three-part series on her childhood lessons.

Shaun Cassidy was lucky enough to be dreamy enough to be my first teen idol crush. To me, he was the hottest thing since sliced bread—the epitome of cool. With his skin-tight pants, feathered hair, and sultry brown eyes, he was absolute perfection. Whenever he sang on television, I sweated so much I had to stuff toilet paper under my armpits so I wouldn’t have to change shirts halfway through his performance on American Bandstand.

I wrote “I love Shaun” on all my school notebooks, books, and bathroom walls. Every night before I went to sleep, Shaun stared lovingly at me from the poster I thumb-tacked on the wall across from my bed. Shirtless under a black zippered leather jacket, he took my breath away. Somehow I just knew deep inside that if he only knew how much I loved him, he’d give up all his fame and fortune - just to have me in his arms forever. In the dark as I quietly sang, “The stars are dancin’ like diamonds in the moonlight, and we could never find a better time to be in love,” and yet I wondered how Shaun would ever find out about my feelings for him if I didn’t tell him.

Somehow I found an address for his fan club. One evening when the house was quiet, I sat at my desk, applied my root beer flavored lip gloss, stuffed toilet paper under my armpits, and began writing a letter to Shaun I felt certain he would never forget. I began with what I felt was a terrific lead-in line: “I love you with all my heart” followed by “Shaun + Vicky 4-Ever.” I then liberally applied my mother’s neon orange lipstick on top of my root beer flavored lip gloss and carefully left an imprint of my luscious lips at the bottom of the letter. As I folded the paper and addressed the envelope, I wondered how long it would take before Shaun showed up at my door to whisk me away forever.

For weeks, I ran to the mailbox after school and searched for a letter from Shaun. I talked to his poster face every night before I went to sleep. “Shaun, please answer my letter. I love you and I’m a lonely girl.”

Winter is Coming! But, Wait - So is Summer!

As winter draws nearer, I grieve the loss of the outdoors (I'm not skiier). Oh, I'll take to the trails around my house for my daily run, but I'll be bundled up and shivering like everyone else. Goodbye Summer. But wait! South of the equator summer is just arriving.

Last year, one of my pals (who has a flexible job and a good deal of wanderlust) took his family to New Zealand for the month of November and tells me I must spend at least one fall or winter in the land of the Kiwis. New Zealand, with its mild spring and summer weather, is a terrific place for an outdoor adventure for those of us in the northern hemisphere (snowbirds excluded, perhaps).

As an avid runner and walker, I'm particularly interested in visiting New Zealand's famous Milford Track. The Milford Track is located in the Fjordland National Park on the South Island of New Zealand near rainforest and mountains on the South Island. Once called "the finest walk in the world," this 53-kilometer "tramping" trail is perfect for a walker who likes to travel light. Along the path, there are "Huts" where travelers can sleep, refresh, and eat. All you need to carry are your toiletries and clothing.

Each day between October and April, 40 permits are granted for walkers to trek from the south end of the trail, which starts at Glade House Wharf, to the north, ending at the Milford Sound.

Unlike other major walkways in the world (such as the West Highland Way in Scotland or the Way of Saint James in Spain), the Milford Track is limited to those who have official permits. If you, like me, plan ahead for the dark winter, consider reserving your permit early.

And while we're talking about New Zealand's South Island, did you know that over half of the country's wineries are located there? You can taste some of the best Sauvignon Blanc in the world, not to mention most other recognizable white varietals, as well as Pinot Noir.

Wine, walking and beautiful views of alpine mountains and fjords are calling me south. What about you? Where will you go to stay warm this winter?

Cami Ostman, www.7marathons7continents.com, www.camiostman.net
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