At times we go to great trouble to create those moments that we hope will last a life time in our memories. It often seems, the more time and trouble put into making a memory, the less likely the memory will linger. It’s the little moments, or the ones that come completely by accident that are the ones that we savor be it good or bad - they tend to have the longest staying power.
Think of all the holiday meals where every care and thought was put into the presentation - in hopes of capturing that text book image of how a holiday should look, feel and smell. Now think back to what you truly remember. For me…it is definitely the time my poor great aunt lost her dentures at the dining room table.
She was a bit of an oddity to my cousins and siblings as we only saw her a couple of times a year and she never learned to speak a word of English. We knew just enough Italian to get by to make pleasantries with her but she still frightened us. Not so much that she couldn’t speak English as her smile spoke a universal language letting us know that she truly enjoyed being in our company. She however had this painful habit of having to pinch our cheeks while speaking to us in Italian and shaking our gentle little faces with every syllable of her excitement. We would line up, fighting over who should be first because we didn’t want to be in her claw like grip. Our grandmother would kindly remind her, “Rachel, it hurts the children when you pinch their cheeks,” but apparently our chubby cheeks were far too appealing to her to accept our grandmother’s plea. We would walk away with reddened faces and the ‘mark of Aunt Rachel’ as we referred to it.
My grandmother went to great lengths every holiday to present everything in its finest from the food, to the china settings, all neatly displayed on a starched white linen table cloth. Candles aglow in sterling silver candle holders and drinks served in the best crystal. When poor Aunt Rachel’s dentures became a victim of an unruly fig the table setting was anything but formal. Of course it was hard to contain the laughter of six children who had never seen such a thing. Teeth we assumed were firmly planted in one’s mouth and never came out. When we couldn’t stop our laughter our mother’s and grandmother gave us the sternest of looks, but it did no good because there at the head of the table sat my grandfather laughing so hard, that he knocked his full glass of red wine sending it splashing all over grandmother’s beautiful, starched white linen table cloth. Was that the memory she was hoping for? Of course not…is it the memories to this day all of us still retain…you bet!
I was reminded of the power of memories and how they cannot be planned or anticipated just this past week with my youngest son. He arrived home to find me sitting out on the back patio of which I have recently worked hard on readying for summer time entertaining. Hours and hours of work cleaning and readying the pots for all our new posies. Tiki torches in place, garden lights lit…it has become the perfect spot for morning coffee and night time tranquility. Wanting to drown out the sounds of my neighbors who were entertaining on their own deck; I pulled out my CD player and inserted a Josh Groban CD. Seth appeared home from a friend’s house to find me out back enjoying the beauty of the evening. What occurred shortly thereafter brought tears to my eyes. At one point he lay down on the patio and began looking up at the stars and it was at that very moment I knew I was witnessing a memory in the making. He won’t remember the hard work gone into the setting or the types of flowers that were planted, but somehow I know he will long remember the beauty of the evening and a completely unexpected experience he and his spirited mom got to share.
Gina McNew, www.ItsHipToBeHot.com
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