I once heard it said that the strength of a marriage can be tested by the ability to take on a wallpaper project together. I must be one of the lucky ones in that my husband and I work together well when it comes to home improvement projects. In our home we live by one mantra…I choose it, he glues it. I rarely have to spend too much time twisting his arm to get him on board with my latest decorating itch.
Oh, there have been a few close calls. Like the time I convinced him to paper the walls in the bathroom with contact paper. We were still in our newlywed stage and he was wide open to my suggestions. I reasoned since the room was so small it could easily be completed in a few hours ( mistake #1 ) and the contact paper I chose should be a breeze to apply because look…all you have to do is match up all the lines. (mistake #2) Right then and there he probably had sufficient grounds for an annulment. I’m proud to say that he survived the challenge and the vow of remaining together until death do us part, was not accelerated. Over the years we have discovered which tasks are best suited to which partner and for the most part we enjoy a happy coexistence.
We have learned to compromise and embrace one another's strong points while knowing when it is best to simply accept the fact there are certain things we can’t do together without rocking the matrimonial boat. One such thing is grocery shopping. Despite the fact that the tag line on the marquis states where shopping is a pleasure, shopping with my husband in tow is anything but a pleasurable experience.
I am the type of person who wants to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible. I stick to my list and go at it like a speed shopper barely taking the cart to a complete stop as I move with ease through the canned veggie aisle. Not my husband! He goes about it the same way most people visit a museum. He feels the need to stop and look at everything. Oh and God forbid there are people handing out samples of anything. The man will stand in line 15 minutes to try a piece of chicken the size of a thumb nail. Should the person behind the sample table be a dear, older woman it’s as good as sold because he’ll reason she reminded him of his grandmother. I’ve tried numerous times to explain to him that they are not paid a commission for the number of items sold, but it falls on deaf ears.
In an attempt to uphold marital bliss, this Spirited Woman has waved the white flag and handed over the grocery list. I have come to realize that he is the product of a long standing male tradition of being a hunter and gatherer. Just like the cave man who journeyed for days tracking the footprints of wild beast, he will eventually return home and proudly unveil his good fortune. He will recount his every move to me aisle by aisle. He will point out his savvy shopping skills explaining with the utmost of enthusiasm why we now have 46 rolls of toilet paper because it was cheaper to buy it in bulk. I will pretend to be impressed and applaud him on his efforts. I will then remove a box of breaded macaroni and cheese bites and know with certainty that along his journey he ran in to a woman who reminded him of his grandmother.
Gina McNew, www.ItsHipToBeHot.com
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