Years back, while voicing my dream to run my own business, a friend gifted me a book called How Much Joy Can You Stand? Although I did read it, I didn’t really need to. The title alone stopped me in my tracks. It was such a different challenge from the socially reinforced practice of noting how “strong she is” based on how much pain one can withstand.
Thinking about this question brought up a tremendous amount of anxiety in me. At that point in my life I knew the familiarity of heartache, disappointment, betrayal, and longing. I realized that for as much as I wanted to, I really didn’t know how to hold joy for any length of time.
Over the past years, I’ve committed to strengthening my joy container. A let’s-get-down-to-business, conscious, intentional decision similar to deciding “Hey, I’m going to work on these abs." I realized routine workouts at the Joy Gym were in order!
When I first arrived at the Joy Gym, I tuned in and realized that even if I was smiling, I was carrying an energy of worry, doubt, or fear. Something less than my desired “Woohee I’m free and powerful!” I found it most interesting that even though I spoke as though I was a positive person, my vibe wasn’t a match. When I really checked into my body, it was carrying some degree of tension based on some thought that was based on something past or future aka the monkey mind.
As I continued my workouts, I noticed that if I began to feel some wonderful sensation rising up in me during meditation, I actually got scared! I had to acknowledge that in answer to the book’s question, my answer was “Not a whole lot, thank you very much!”
I love my energetic, spiritual container. I learned to have compassion for its flabby and unused muscles that historically struggled to hold yummy vibrations for any length of time. So I lovingly, tenderly and with my eye on the prize, tone, tone, tone! I practice holding different energies; peace, abundance, unconditional love. I use my wonderful imagination to feel things that make my heart sing and then challenge myself to bask in that vibration for as long as I can. And when I feel the trembling that accompanies limitations, I tell myself I can hold it a little longer. And I do – and notice that it becomes easier.
I feel a relationship with and responsibility to this container, this place where joy wants to call home. I love the power I feel of tending to something that is soul –ly mine. I continually recommit to my workouts and find new undiscovered dimensions of my container that are asking to be stretched. I believe spirited women understand the need to consciously rewire. We also understand the importance of trying new venues such as the Joy Gym. Membership is free and classes ongoing. So – how much joy CAN you stand?
Audrey Vitolins www.audreyvitolins.com
Winner of Spirited Woman Blogger Contest.
Audrey Vitolins, MSW is an intuitive, mentor, and motivational speaker for meaningful transformation. She inspires people and business leaders to live from a place of purpose and authenticity and sees change as an opportunity to respond to a higher calling. Through individual intuitive readings, workshops, and keynotes, Audrey guides individuals and organizations to the opportunities for living out their life’s purpose, thinking outside the box, and following the voice of their soul.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Audrey. You inspire all of us to exapand our joy container. I for one am certainly going to try. It is said that if we follow a new habit for 21 days, it is ours so my goal, and one I challenge other Spirited Women to go for, is to practice your suggestions for the next three weeks.
With infinite gratitude,
Dawn
Posted by: Dawn | December 04, 2009 at 09:09 AM