The Astrology of Self Respect

This past weekend I had a revelation.

One of my greatest aspirations in life is to become a published author. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into a Barnes & Noble, headed straight to the astrology section and drooled over all the books there.

My ritual is pretty straightforward. I go to the astrology section and grab a book. Then I close my eyes and imagine it's my book. I picture my name on the cover and my thoughts and ideas filled inside the pages. Some of you might think this is self delusional. I prefer to think of it as manifesting.

Still, years have passed and the world of publishing has yet to open its doors for me. It’s been a frustrating process to say the least. Agents don’t want to sign me on because I’m not famous enough yet. A good publishing house won’t consider my manuscript unless I’ve got an agent to represent me. And no one seems to care much about the quality of my book. In fact, no one has even read it! The whole point of publishing, I thought, was to share your wisdom with others.

I’ve considered self publishing but something holds me back. My dream is to be published by a publishing house. And a Taurus never gives up on anything.

So, after years of trying I finally got what you might think would be my “big break." A new, small time publishing company wanted to sign me on. I should be elated right?

Wrong.

For some reason, I felt this nagging feeling of “whatever” about this deal. The more I learned about the details the more ambivalent I became.

A good friend helped me to weigh the pros and cons and I soon realized it wasn’t such a “deal” after all.

You know why I was going to go with it? Think of a pimply 17-year-old girl who's 20 pounds overweight and never been kissed. She's dying to go to the prom and no one asks. Finally, out of the blue this guy notices her. She knows he's not her type but she's ignoring that knowing because she's never been kissed, never been noticed and desperately wants to go to the prom.

I thought this book deal was the prince I had waited for. Finally, my chance to go to the prom! Turns out if I had signed this deal I would have kissed a frog out of my desperation to get published.

So I learned a pretty big lesson this past weekend. I’m not going to kiss a frog just because I think my prince will never come.

He will. Someday.

- Maria DeSimone, www.InsightfulAstrology.com
Click here for more of Maria's posts.

Comments

[Maria DeSimone]

Joyce and Jeffrey,

Thank you so much for your kind words of supportand wisdom. As writers, we are definitely kindred spirits. Good luck in your writing journey!

Warmly,
Maria

[Jeffrey Levine]

Maria,
Thank you for such an open-hearted peek into your journey and dreams. And, I believe that the above comment from Joyce is right on the money. Publishing is changing rapidly - the model of a "publisher" being the gateway is an old paradigm. Much like the music industry, where you dont need a "record deal" to get your music out there anymore, we writers have all the tools at our disposal to 1) make a huge impact on the people who want to read what we have to offer, and 2) make serious money from our writing. So the question for you, I would suggest is, what really is your goal? Impact, money, fame, something else? This will help you figure out next steps. The evolution of our dreams is a wonderous thing to watch. Thank you for sharing yours.
Jeffrey

[Joyce Mason]

Maria, we must be spiritual cousins--both astrologers, both pursuing that publishing dream. Thank you so much for openly sharing the pains and pitfalls of the process. You are wise to remind us how vulnerable we can be when pursuing our passions.

Truth is, I've recently figured out that my delays were divine in publishing my memoir. By blogging for nearly two years to create readership and have a "sidecar" to my book when it's out, I learned that I wasn't focusing my book in the way it would ultimately sell best. I already refocused my blog of the same name (Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights). Next, the book. I've also decided that while I'll give finding an agent one last shot, it will be empowering to
self-publish, if that doesn't happen by the time my "best deal" research is done. The March/April '09 Writers Digest is dedicated to the topic, and I'm reading it like a bible. A good job of self-publishing is becoming a respected and even lucrative option, if you're a good marketer.

One parting thought: As bloggers, we are already published. If you have your own blog or website, you're also a publisher. I got the biggest giggle out of this insight recently. I'm already published in the medium of the future. Many, if not most people get information now from electronic media--and less paper saves the planet, too. By the time I get my first solo book on traditional paper, paper books will almost be a bit passe. We're already part of where publishing is headed.