How Do You Handle Disappointment?

As you aspire to life to the fullest, you will undoubtedly face all types of disappointing situations, both large and small. Actually the more you seek to step into a greater life and move ahead in your career, take a chance learning something new, or open your heart to romance…the greater your risk of being disappointed.

In the state of disappointment, your thoughts can become obsessive and overly dramatic. Being in that mental state can prevent you from thinking clearly and logically and cause you to think small in that situation…not looking at the bigger picture in the grand scheme of your life. Sometimes it feels like you have taken twenty steps forward, only to then take ten backwards. But you really are not, you are moving ahead and building qualities such as; patience, resilience and self-knowledge on your journey through life.

The key to handling disappointment, in a Spirited Woman way, is to consciously take your focus from what you think you should have in that moment, and turn it around to a more positive mindset. I’m not saying to ignore your own feelings of sadness with positive affirmation that are simply not true for you. Maybe just something more neutral, for example the thought -- everything happens for a reason.

I have had my share of disappointments in my life and often take notice to the good that eventually comes from them in the long run. Although I was disappointed with a failed marriage, I now see that being single has allowed me to make the most amazing friends that come running at the drop of a hat whenever I need them. I would have never met these women had I remained in “coupledom.” The end of my sales career led me to finding my true passion of writing, a creative outlet that I never had the chance to pursue while working in sales. Opening my heart in the dating world is a book in itself of ups and downs, but it has brought men my way who have shown me how I deserve to be treated. And I will never settle for anything less again.

So, if you are facing disappointment - don’t hide from it or ignore your feelings, but rather find ways to extract value from the experience. And most of all know that it can teach you to learn from your setbacks, accept your life for the blessing that it is, and come out the other side stronger.

- Maureen Keyte
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Comments

[Uma]

These are some guidelines I follow..
Perseverance conquers all
Never lose hope.
Follow your dreams.
You need luck and God's grace
Keep learning
Disappointments are part of life
Career disappointment is very transient - what is important is family health and togetherness
Never lose an opportunity to be of service to others - acts of random kindness
Ego should be put in the back burner
Be positive - Dont wallow in self pity

[Lorie]

Thanks, Maureen!
I needed to read these words today. I was wondering why I don't handle disappointment better, given the fact that I've had so much...but I'm looking at it backwards. I need to learn to deal with set-backs before I can expect to see fewer in my life. Old patterns and habits are hard to break, but not impossible. I wish you all the best in your life and will work on improving mine day by day.
Lorie

[Susan Roth]

Jeffrey,

I think we are twins! I say the same thing...except then I reward myself for trying and everything is alright again....chocolate, anyone?

[Devon Ellington]

I think you have to be careful of that slippery slope of passivity. Yes, you're disappointed. Yes, learn from it. But unless you take positive ACTION to make the changes in your life in order to grow from the experience, all you do is wallow and remain a victim.

I own the feeling, and then I try to step back. How important was this event REALLY? Where does it fit into my overall vision of life?

I'm really tired of people saying, "there, there, lower your expectations." Bull pucky. Strive for what you want. When you're disappointed, step back, learn, and then approach it from another way. Or, if you find that your desire/expectation has more to do with ego than with something that has real value in your life, LET IT GO.

But don't lower the bar. We should always be striving and growing.

We have the control over our own reality. IF we chose to have it.

[Susan Duval]

Great post, Maureen!! Attitude is everything!

[Jeffrey Levine]

Very nicely put. It's quite often that our expectations don't exactly fit our reality. One of my favorite sayings about this is: "I didnt fail. I successfully found another way that doesnt work."
Thank you for an inspiring post.