Ugly Duckling Beautiful Swan Syndrome

Born ugly as my mom said. And being the ugly duckling during my formative years; bullied by classmates who, in my eyes, were perfect human beings, was rubbing salt to wound. And for some inexplicable reasons, I was transformed into a swan as soon as I completed high school and I became the beauty icon during my days working in a hotel and "absolutely stunning" during my university days. I was notoriously called the gorgeous chick by men and envied by female. My self-esteem soared to an all-time high and I was proud of myself being the desire of both sexes.

I was pleased with my body image until I turned 30. I was devastated at the fact that I was single and getting OLD and UGLY. I looked at my trusted full-length mirror and to my horror, I saw a distorted figure looming large in front of me. UGLY, DISGUSTING, PATHETIC. Back to square one. What had happened to the swan? I felt as if I had a plastic surgery, only to be destroyed under the knife of the mercilessness. I revamped my wardrobe as nothing fitted anymore. I existed in my loose-fitting XL clothes and hated myself every single minute of it. I came to endure the open stares and unsolicited remarks the past few years. No more photos of myself. Avoided the mirror at all costs. I became body conscious especially as my love handles were screaming at me and having a chronic case of eczema didn’t help. I felt invisible, unimportant, and downright unworthy of anyone’s attention.

My life turned around only recently when I decided to be HAPPY with what I have got. At least I am NORMAL, with all the body parts intact. At least I am ‘healthy’ (not sick in hospital or bedridden). I have a brain (that’s what I believe). I figured that my negative self-image was a way of protecting myself from the world when hatred, anger, fear and competition dominated. I opted out of the game as I didn’t want to lose.

Then, I began to practice affirmations, emphasizing my good points and being grateful for being a functional being and being alive. I am now totally ACCEPTING of the way I am, knowing without a doubt that my imperfections make me unique.

I might not be the prettiest girl in town anymore but I honor my individuality, my STYLE (not in a fashion sense) and it is our attitudes towards life that matter in the end. A SPIRITED WOMAN won’t bow down to the law of gravity; she loves herself warts and all without unwanted judgment but rejoices in the natural biological process called aging.

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical”.-Sophia Loren

- Rosa Wong

Comments

[Kitty]

Rosa, you are beautiful & made in the image of God!!

[Alice (the blogger)]

Rosa,
This was an absolutly beautiful post. It is something we all could (and should) live by. I love being me and I know (by your post) that you love you . A wonderful post with a true sense of spirit. It was a swan.

[Pamelah Landers]

Thak you for sharing this with us. I recently read in "O" Magazine Oprah's comment after doing the multi-week online seminar with Eckhart Tolle that she now knows she is definitely not her body. It struck me as a great phrase to remind myself when I see 'ugly' on my body, to change my focus to something else and not reinforce that familiar feeling of "I am my body" because I'm not.

[Teri Breier]

Rosa, I really appreciate the way you demonstrate your path to total self-acceptance and self-loving with such honesty. I myself inherited my family's lovely Jewish nose, which translates kindly to "huge honking schnozz." From 4th grade until my cosmetic surgery at 16 (a family rite-of-passage), I endured much teasing; being sensitive, shy and an only child unused to such torture, I consequently experienced very low self-esteem.

Today I celebrate myself as a beautiful, spirited woman inside and out! But it wasn't the nose job alone that changed my self-image...it was starting on the path to personal growth with a Teen Insight Seminar that same year. (Insight is still going strong for kids, teens and adults at www.insightseminars.org ... I highly recommend these workshops for anyone wanting to make a positive change in their lives!)

Blessings from your fellow Blogette. :)

[Kristin]

Rosa,
I love all of your posts. I grew up chubby then in High School when I hit a growth spurt and thinned out I thought I looked "hot". My mom had really smart advice when she told me that if I got in a car accident tomorrow and my looks were taken away, everyone would comment on how pretty I had been and not really what a wonderful person I was. That stuck with me (and helped me shrink that big head). Now I am happy when someone I run in to from college tells me how much fun I was or how nice I was in college. It makes me smile!
Thanks for another great post!
Kristin

[Naila]

Rosa -

I thought you would appreciate the song "Freckles" by Natasha Bedingfield!

It speaks exactly to what you share in your post.

Bravo for seeing your beauty in the perfectly imperfect you!

http://www.last.fm/music/Natasha+Bedingfield/_/Freckles