Spirited Woman Blogger Team

Guest Blogger - Andrea Chilcote - Which Story are You Telling?

How does one "Re-Write the Story of Their Life?" Now, that is an interesting question and one many spirited women around the world might be asking themselves. In her three part series, leadership development expert, Andrea Chilcote addresses the answer. In part one she asks, "Which story are you telling?" We welcome Andrea as our guest blogger.

Some time ago I had a conversation with a colleague who was making a difficult choice to leave both a job and a marriage that were consuming her very life force. I observed that this opportunity had been knocking on her door for years, getting louder and more persistent over time, and that perhaps she should answer the call. If not, the door was about to be busted through and the house blown down, as the proverbial wolf did in the Three Little Pigs.

A watershed moment for her, she realized that one cannot proclaim to be self-aware and committed to living purposefully, in integrity, if unwilling to make changes in a life that's not working.

You’ve heard the saying: “The devil you know is better than the devil you don't.” This paradigm is why many people stay in abusive relationships, endure dysfunctional employers, and fail to take the leap toward long-held dreams. Change itself is not what we fear; it's the transition that we endure getting from here to there that's not for the faint of heart. Perhaps so many spirited women are in "transition" because we have the courage of conviction. What is the spark behind that courage? The choice to take full responsibility for one's life.

Any story we tell about difficulty in our lives can be told in two ways. In story one, we tell what happened; a play by play account of wins and losses, who did what and why - from our own point of view. The flaw with this method is just that - our own point of view! If things didn’t turn out as we wished, it's easy to tell a story of what happened to us, what was done to us, and how unfair it all was. Story two is very different. Story two is an account we tell taking full responsibility for everything that happened. It’s a way of examining the beliefs we held, the decisions we made and the actions we took that led to other’s actions or so-called fate stepping in.

Which story is most true? Even though story one is literally true, story two, the story in which we step fully into the great gift of an empowered life, is the only story worth telling.

Editor to the Core

Is there a profession that without question is the embodiment of who you are, at your core?

Perhaps you are an artist, or a psychologist, a caterer, or an educator. Whatever you do...you know without question that working in it is the highest expression of your values, your knowledge, your spirit.

For me, my profession of choice has always revolved around words -- as an editor, a writer, an interviewer, a researcher.  Readers of my Spirited Woman blog posts know that my parents (A Longtime Dream Come True) were writers of radio and television shows and dramatic plays, and as their only child, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I was the editor of the newspaper -- the oddly named Bulldog Barks -- in my Cincinnati high school in the mid-1950s. It was fun going out and recruiting fellow students to write articles about events and subjects that interested them, assigning a photographer to take pictures to accompany the articles, then editing the stories, then writing the headlines and photo captions. More fun than anything for me!

Fifty-five years later, I'm still having more fun than anything by doing exactly what I described in the previous paragraph -- but this time I'm editing the monthly newsletter for the Bay Area Independent Publishers Association. The article topics may have changed -- for example, we're concerned these days with eBooks and digital publishing -- but the basic steps involved in creating the publication are the same.

I love being able to express who I am at my core through my profession!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

The Courage to Be Herself

The courage to be herself wasn't as easy as it appeared.
We all know that women often fragment who we are and sometimes...
Sometimes it takes a while to get ourselves back into one whole holy woman.
Because we have spent so much time
trying to fit into someone else's picture of who are.
So when we decided, and yes it is a choice, to step out
and reveal our magnificence, it is risky. Sometimes scary.
But then, finally, freedom. Breath. Movement. Joy. Beauty.
Identity. Then it becomes impossible to NOT be who we are.

- Shiloh Sophia, http://www.shilohsophia.com, www.coscmicowgirlsuniversity.com
Click here to read more of Shiloh Sophia's posts.

Washington D.C.'s Cherry Blossom Centennial

I know we’re still in the thick of winter grays, but if you’re longing for spring colors, it’s not too soon to think about the Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington DC. To see our nation’s capital flocked in pink will touch your soul and lift your spirit. Especially this year.

The 2012 festival, March 20-April 27, features the Centennial Celebration, marking one hundred years since the Japanese bestowed on us 3,000 cherry trees, most of which grace the Tidal Basin by the Jefferson Memorial and the cherry grove on the National Mall. The website lists all the special events from ceremonies, performances, a kite festival, and museum days to my favorite, the Cherry Blossom Parade.

I've never been a parade enthusiast, but I love taking kids to this one. If the weather is right, you get a beautiful, sunny day on Constitution Avenue, which provides a picturesque parade route flanked by white marble government buildings and the verdant National Mall. This year’s parade is on Saturday, April 14 at 10:00 a.m.

Since the parade comes at the end of Easter Week, visitors will need to book hotels early. Good hotels are available in the District as well as across the Potomac River in Rosslyn and Crystal City. If you plan to stay five days or more, I recommend the 925 Apartments. They are not exactly new - probably three stars - but they are clean, convenient, and cheaper than five days in any DC hotel. They sit in a quiet residential neighborhood between George Washington University and Watergate, one short block from the Foggy Bottom Metro and two blocks from Trader Joe’s.

Nearby is the Kennedy Center, which has a free concert at 6 p.m. most evenings. You can easily walk there from the 925. And when you return, you might see some of the performers returning there, too.

If you need an early morning run/walker before the festival, you can easily get to the Potomac path or to the Mall, or you can follow my route through GWU and straight down Pennsylvania Avenue to watch the early morning news reporters on the White House lawn.

If you don’t care about the festival events and just want to see the blossoms, follow the news closely to see when the blossoms will peak because shortly thereafter they disappear.

Springtime is magnificent in Washington, DC. It’s decked out in yellow forsythia, pink and white magnolias and the star of the show, the pink cherry blossoms.

- Nancy Adair  nancyadair2002@yahoo.com
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The Year of the Dragon

Yesterday (January 23, 2012) was the beginning of the Year of the Dragon. In Chinese culture, dragons are highly respected and admired mystical creatures endowed with strength, courage, and nobility. A dragon will lie low until it seizes the opportunity to soar high up in the sky.

Among the many dragon stories, I like the “Dotting the Dragon’s Eye” the best. This is about a painter who painted dragons but never dotted their eyes. When people asked him why his answer was always, “because they’ll become real and fly away!”

Some villagers did not believe this and challenged him to dot his dragon’s eyes. Tired of listening to their imprecations, the painter finally seized his brush and placed a big dot in each eye. Immediately, the dragons roared and soaring high up into the sky, leaving nothing but blank sheets of paper.

This story tells that it is the details that make all the difference in life. As the new Year of the Dragon begins, I hope we can pay attention to the details that can make us achieve our dreams.

Happy Year of the Dragon!

Mingmei Yip, http://www.mingmeiyip.com
Click here to read more of Mingmei's posts.

Attitude Matters

You’ve heard the old adage that you can’t control what happens to you in life, only how you react or respond to it. How true that is as we all age. Despite our best efforts to be healthy, everyone comes with an “expiration date” as a good friend once said. The big question is when your date kicks in…

Recently, my dad was diagnosed with lymphoma leukemia – the good news is that it is a very mild case. My father is 78 and overcame prostate cancer just two years ago, which was also at a very slow growth stage. The doctors are surprisingly low key about this diagnosis, despite evidence that the cancer has spread to Dad’s bones and blood. This particular form is extremely non-aggressive, and they claim the recovery rate is very high.

What really surprised me is my father’s attitude. At 78, he is the oldest living male in his family history, outliving my cousin by two years so far. Many years ago, he told me he never expected to live past 50 since both his parents passed away naturally at that age.  When my parents called to tell us the news of the new diagnosis, my dad was nonplussed.  “Hey, if you live long enough, these things are bound to happen,” was his reaction.

It made me stop and think – could I have the same attitude or reaction? How many times has something disappointing or frightening happened and we ask ourselves, “Why me?”  Is my father’s lack of expectation regarding his longevity a factor? If you don’t have “expectations” then you can’t be disappointed. That’s a powerful place to come from…can I do it?  Can you?

The verdict is still out on what will happen next. But one factor is for sure: attitude matters and my father is setting a strong example for me to live by.

- Allison Blankenship, http://www.allisonspeaks.com,  http://www.UpsideTheBook.com
Click here to read more of Allison's posts.

Coming Out of the Shadows

You can only come to the morning through the shadows. -- J.R.R. Tolkien, British writer -- Lord of the Rings, 1892-1973

Such dramatic events are occurring so quickly in my life!

The shadows of the past several years that have kept personal progress at bay are disappearing, and the sunshine, where I know I will flourish, is finally peeking through.

Interesting job possibilities have recently materialized for both my husband Ed and for me, and Ed's longtime goal of creating his own products is just beginning to come to fruition as well.

We are more than cautiously optimistic about 2012 -- we are downright optimistic! 

Are you experiencing a similar breakthrough into the light in your life, perhaps after a long period of darkness and shadows? Isn't it an exhilarating feeling to know that things are on the upswing? Doesn't it make your spirit soar into the stratosphere?

I was thinking about "shadows that have impressed me." By far the most imaginative and thought-provoking artistic piece I ever saw involved a shadow. It was at a San Francisco art gallery open house, years ago.

Visitors to a particular artist's studio walked into a sparsely furnished room -- only a table, a lamp, and an overstuffed chair were there. On the striped chair cushion was the distinct outline of a shadow.  Ah...but not just any shadow. It was clearly the shadow of a mythical creature; apparently, the creature had gotten up from that chair and headed for the door just a few minutes ago. The creature's shadow was so "real," you quickly swiveled your head toward the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of the creature. What a magnificent vision for a shadow!

So if you have the distinct feeling that the shadows are melting away, and the sunshine is coming to stay (yes, that rhymes!), how wonderful! A new day is here!

Here are those close buddies, Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis, Jr., singing Me and My Shadow.

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.

A Rapid Return to Good Health

What a difference a day makes! Twenty-four little hours brought the sun and the flowers where there used to be rain. -- Song written in 1934 by Maria Mendez Grever, lyrics by Stanley Adams

Yesterday I was definitely "under the weather," but today I'm on top of the world again and the sun is shining brightly.

Must have been bitten by a 24-hour flu bug yesterday. All I wanted to do was sleep, and that's mostly what I did, with two 2-hour intervals of manic activity scattered throughout the day before I crashed again. I had no temperature, no appetite, and also, no energy.

But I learned a crystal-clear lesson: that enforced "quiet time" really does completely repair the body (and the soul, and the mind).

Today, when the alarm went off as usual at 6 a.m., I bounded out of bed, ate a hearty breakfast, and started doing all the household chores that had been left undone during my 24-hour illness.

As I rapidly made up for lost time, I gave thanks to the Powers that Be for showing me how important it is to listen to our bodies, rest when we're ill, and give thanks when our health is restored.

A toast -- to the vibrant health of all spirited women!

Linda Jay Geldens, www.LindaJayGeldens.com
Click here for more of Linda's posts.